I have been on an emotional roller coaster (as most of you would have read in my earlier blogs) and every time I wanted to talk to Andy, the timing was never right.
Len and Jasmine kept telling me that "If you don't say anything now, you'll never do it. You're a procrastinator and you let him get his way too often. Say it now or never," They were right. I AM a procrastinator and I always let him get his way. I put him and his needs before mine all the time.
It was Thursday (my time) and I knew that he would be coming back to Denver from Boston on Thursday (his time, which would mean Friday morning my time). I dreaded Friday morning. In fact I dreaded Friday itself. I knew if I didn't talk to him, I would explode sooner or later. I knew if I talked to him, I would also explode. Either way I was gonna blow up :P
I woke up on Friday morning only to see an orange thing blinking on my screen. I wondered who IMed me at that time. I took my glasses off my side table to see who it was. *blink blink* it was him. Almost immediately I sat up and clicked on it "I wanna see you more," was the message. Nothing more, nothing less.
What did that mean? I kept thinking as I got ready for work. My usual routine has become mind-numbingly bored but it kept me going. It was like a robotic routine programmed into my mind to get ready and to drive to work every day.
When I got to work, as usual I would place my bag in it's usual spot, log onto my work computer and then log on to my messengers and email accounts (I have four email accounts which I have to log into and check every morning, yes I'm a freak).
Then I saw that he was online. I IMed him. Welcome back, I said. He thanked me and I asked him how was his trip. It was tiring, did you get my message he asked. I smiled to myself. Maybe he's serious this time. I replied yes and placed a smiley next to it.
Then he said the words I have wanted to hear for a very long time "Lets work on this, I was in the airport and on airplanes and kind of reliving moments I had with you and I realized, I wanted more,"
I laughed. I was so relieved. At least I knew I wasn't going crazy for no reason.
The rest of the conversation had a lot of mushy details which I will spare you from. Bottom line is, we're gonna work it out.... but it will take time because it's either he's moving over or I'm moving over. We haven't worked the details out but we're exploring all the options we have.
In the mean time, I really have to save up for a ticket!!!
Len and Jasmine kept telling me that "If you don't say anything now, you'll never do it. You're a procrastinator and you let him get his way too often. Say it now or never," They were right. I AM a procrastinator and I always let him get his way. I put him and his needs before mine all the time.
It was Thursday (my time) and I knew that he would be coming back to Denver from Boston on Thursday (his time, which would mean Friday morning my time). I dreaded Friday morning. In fact I dreaded Friday itself. I knew if I didn't talk to him, I would explode sooner or later. I knew if I talked to him, I would also explode. Either way I was gonna blow up :P
I woke up on Friday morning only to see an orange thing blinking on my screen. I wondered who IMed me at that time. I took my glasses off my side table to see who it was. *blink blink* it was him. Almost immediately I sat up and clicked on it "I wanna see you more," was the message. Nothing more, nothing less.
What did that mean? I kept thinking as I got ready for work. My usual routine has become mind-numbingly bored but it kept me going. It was like a robotic routine programmed into my mind to get ready and to drive to work every day.
When I got to work, as usual I would place my bag in it's usual spot, log onto my work computer and then log on to my messengers and email accounts (I have four email accounts which I have to log into and check every morning, yes I'm a freak).
Then I saw that he was online. I IMed him. Welcome back, I said. He thanked me and I asked him how was his trip. It was tiring, did you get my message he asked. I smiled to myself. Maybe he's serious this time. I replied yes and placed a smiley next to it.
Then he said the words I have wanted to hear for a very long time "Lets work on this, I was in the airport and on airplanes and kind of reliving moments I had with you and I realized, I wanted more,"
I laughed. I was so relieved. At least I knew I wasn't going crazy for no reason.
The rest of the conversation had a lot of mushy details which I will spare you from. Bottom line is, we're gonna work it out.... but it will take time because it's either he's moving over or I'm moving over. We haven't worked the details out but we're exploring all the options we have.
In the mean time, I really have to save up for a ticket!!!
1 comment:
good news, way to go claire!
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