i miss sayang :(

I miss my furball of a temperamental dutch lop bunny.... he died last year.... of what I can kind of believe is a stroke because the vets weren't too sure but since he was half paralyzed... I'm guessing that it was a stroke.... :'(
Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to have a white bunny for a pet... but mum never let me. Dogs, yes... guinea pigs, yes... bunnies... no.

Until the year I was 18, my cousin had bought his wife (then girlfriend) a little brown dutch lop bunny for Christmas. It was so adorable I fell in love with her immediately and then I looked at mum. *cha ching!!!* there you have it... that's how I got my bunny. Both Fondue (that's the bunny's name) and I looked at mum with pleading sad brown bunny eyes and the cute little sniffly nose, promising that I would clean up after the furball and the furball will create as minimal mess as a bunny could ever possibly do... mum nodded and I raced out to the pet store with my cousin.

Thumper bunny, was the first name that crossed my mine for a male rabbit. He was such an adorable little thing. He has a little bit of an ear defect when I got him though, but the store owner told me that all I had to do was to slowly stroke his ears daily the way it's supposed to look and his ears would fall naturally after a bit. I bought Thumper bunny a cage... with a water bottle and a food bowl... then I bought him pellets and treats.

I was the happiest person alive that day.... I had my own little bunny wabbit....

Years went by.... Thumper bunny's name changed to a diverse variety of whatever that ran through my mind. Usagi-chan, bun bun, brown ball, dutchie, and of course... Sayang.

He had his own room (yes you read right... he has his own room in my house, and no I don't mean a cage, I mean a room with four walls, a door, a ceiling fan and lights) and every morning when mum opened his room door, he'd run straight to mine and start scratching it to wake me up.

Then during dinner time EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... he'd be sitting either at my feet or beside my chair... waiting for me to finish and give him some fruit... or bread... or some treats... and if I didn't... he would stand on his hind legs and stare at me with his big beady eyes and sniffle as though he smells something wonderfully delicious.
I remember the year I left for my studies. I was so worried that he might go off before I come back. I really was....
The moment I got back home after being away for one year, was to rush in and yell "Sayang!!!" and there he came... galloping across the dining hall floor and drifting into the hall (the floors are marble and well, he's got a lot of fur on the underside of his paws). I scooped him up and hugged him and I kept muttering "I'm so glad you're still here... I'm so glad you're still here..." then I hear "Umm... excuse me... what about me?" and then I realized that I hadn't hugged my mom yet :P
Years went by and my Sayang was famous.... all my friends wanted to meet my rabbit. I know, I know, it sounds far fetched but then it was true. Not a lot of people I knew had rabbits... come to think of it, it was only me and my best friend.... yeah hers was Rocky... naughty little fella...

He used to have this thing, that when he naps... he'll nap on his side... and the first time I saw him nap that way... I freaked out because I thought he had died....
Last year I was just telling mum "Wow imagine... bun is already 8 human years old... that's gotta mean that in bunny years... he's ancient!"

Then it happened. You know bombs like these always drop on you when you least expect it.

One Sunday morning, mum came into my room asking me to wake up because she couldn't find Sayang in his room. Then I remembered he had a new sleeping place... he would hide into a small cranny and just sleep there with all his dust bunnies.... then after 5 mins, mum came into my room again saying that she still can't find him.

So I got up... walked into his room and searched all the corners and all the nooks... and then I saw him lying under the computer table with his back against the wall. So I called for him. He didn't move. I called again. Still no movement. We had quite some boxes around the area so I couldn't just reach in. So I stuck my toes between and wiggled them at his bum. He didn't move either. Panic crept all over me. "No wait, he's still warm and soft...."

So we managed to get him out after a bit... but then I could see that there was something terribly wrong about him. He was kind of bent in an unnatural way. His head was tilted... his eye was all crusty and he was kind of limp. Then when I set him down on the floor... he tried so hard to stand... but he couldn't.

We took him to the vet and the vet said that he had probably snuck into the corner and got stuck... and tried to struggle to break free but ended up tensing up his muslces and they spasmed.... it's probably just a sprain, just massage his muscles slowly and regularly and he'll be fine.
One week went by.... no improvement... he could barely stand but had a ravenous appetite... which I thought was a good sign.

Then I knew what I had to do. Sayang could barely lift his head, let alone stand.... he couldn't walk to his usual spot to pee so I'd sometimes find him in a puddle of pee.... then I knew, I knew that I had to end his pain.

That weekend I took him to his regular vet (who unfortunately was closed the day of his 'stroke') and he smiled as I walked in with Sayang wrapped in his towel in my arms and asked "So... how can I help you today?" then he put his hands on his hips and shook his head "What did he do now?"

"It's not good..." I told him. Then I walked into the consultation room, unwrapped Sayang and told the vet the entire story.

"Well...." the vet has been Sayang's doctor since day one.... even he couldn't mouth the words to me.

"If it's time then... okay...." I told him. Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew no matter what happened, I had to put Sayang to sleep. I wanted to hold him during the entire thing because I didn't want him to feel that he was alone. But I couldn't. And also because the vet told me that it's best not to.

He showed me the door and said "This will take a short while okay? Just wait for me here, I'll call you when it's done,"

I broke down and cried outside the room. Ten minutes later the vet came out and told me that I could go in and see him now.

There he was.... lying on top of his towel in a box as though he was sleeping. He looked so normal.

Mum and I took him home... and buried him in a corner of the garden and he is now known as the Keeper of the Garden....

That was August 2007. Up till now, I cannot walk into the bunny section in a pet store, eat mango or retell this story without crying...

I miss my widdle bunny wabbit so so much........