My ordeal

This is Day 10 that I am recording this down. I have been ill since June 7th, 2009 all the way to today and I don’t think it’s going to get any better.

Here’s a recap

June 7th
Woke up with a hangover and a bit of body ache. Suspected fever, hun says it’s just the hangover, nothing too much to worry about. Fell into a full on fever after a late breakfast. Slept the whole day

June 8th
Woke up. Was in no condition to go to work at all. Rolled over “Hun, drive me over to the doctor’s later?” “Mmmmm,” and he went back to sleep.

Later, we spent an hour sitting in the clinic waiting for my turn. Doc diagnosed me with a regular fever, cough with phlegm. Put me on a course of antibiotics for five days.

June 9th
Went back to work. Felt icky. But had to work anyways. Big bosses were in and were doing a presentation to some Vietnamese delegates. Had to be there *just in case*

Fever started to manifest. Felt really bad. But had to keep on going. Came home with a fever. Plopped down and collapsed into bed till the next morning.

June 10th
Felt better. Went to work feeling alright albeit a bit woozy and drugged up.

Came home. Proudly announced that I was feeling alright. Then half an hour later the fever struck again. Told hun to take me to the doc again. No way I should be having fever so many times in a row.

Doc suggested that I do a blood test but since it was too late, he said come in tmr morning if you’re still feeling bad.

June 11th
Went to work and then realized that I should just go get a blood test done. With all these pandemics and all that going on, I can’t take any risks.

Doc heard my cough and asked some questions about it. Then he sent me off for an X-Ray as well and two days of medical leave.

Went home to sleep it off.

June 12th
Still not feeling the best. But slightly better. Noticed that my fever always comes twice a day. The first time sometime around noon and the second around 8pm.

Cough and phlegm aggravates my throat and makes my fever even more consistent.

June 13th
Weekend is here but am stuck in KL. Am in no shape to travel back to Ipoh much as I’d like to. Felt a little better. Fevers seem more lighter there days. Slept the whole day.

June 14th
Felt much better. Could walk around, do stuff. Made herbal chicken soup. Since I’m not eating anything, might as well drink something nutritious. Can’t keep letting my body eat my body.

Went grocery shopping and had an early dinner at Santini. Was feeling hungry but didn’t want to over do it, so I shared a bruschetta a la funghi with hun and had a minestrone. He had the Secondi di Carne – rack of lamb. I even had no appetite for lamb. Can you imagine?

This was a lot of coughing day. Hurt my back and my shoulder blades. Have to curl up like a foetus to cough else it hurts my entire body

June 15th
Went back to work. Felt not too bad. Fever was under control but cough was getting worse. It’s getting harder and harder to sleep when I have to literally wake up AND get up every hour to hack up the phlegm.

I cough so much that my abs hurt today.

June 16th
Work was fine. Fever stayed under control. Didn’t attack me all day – which is a good thing. Got home feeling good. Went out for dinner. Hokkien noodles. But I couldn’t eat much. But at least it’s more than I usually did for the past two weeks. The sauces started to irritate my throat.

Coughed so much my rib cage hurts. Got home. Still felt fine but rather tired. Took cough meds and slept till morning.

June 17th
Felt quite alright. Coughed so much the left side of my uterus hurts now.

Went to see the doctor just now. I’m still running a fever. Told her about what happened. She gave me more cough syrup, another five day course of antibiotics and some more fever tablets.

This is never ending.

I’m going insane

I don’t know how much more of this I can take

I want to kill myself… literally.

Colin asked “If you die what will I do?”

Frankly, go on doing what you did…. You’ve lived your life without me for 26 years. We’ve only been together less than 9 months. It won’t be too hard to wipe me off your slate. I’m too much of a burden right now.

I can’t even go near my girls just in case I pass on an infection or something like that to them.

I can’t lie down properly. I can’t sleep properly. I can’t snuggle up in bed comfortably.

I can’t even have a nice snuzzle because I always end up coughing and hacking if I get too comfortable in bed.

I just want this all to end….

I don’t care how