I have this bad habit... of letting things fester... of putting others before myself.
And then I get pissed about it.
But I don't say anything and let the feeling pass.
Why?
Well, sometimes most times I feel that there's no point getting all worked up about stuff like these.
I'll get pissed. I'll say things I don't mean. I'll become this really angry little monster, which I don't enjoy... and for what?
Just to blow off a little steam?
Nah...
Earlier today, everything was pissing me off, up to a point where I just didn't want to look at anything.
So at the dinner table, I took my glasses off and just closed my eyes.
The pup asked "Are you ok?"
I gave the universal answer for 'leave me alone' "Yeah I'm fine, it's nothing."
He pressed on for a bit and it got to a point where I almost screamed at him and then he shut up.
What was I so pissed off about?
Mom - for telling me that same problem she has over and over again. I've offered so many solutions that I want to bang my head on the wall.
Pup - for being so bloody dependant on me. We were hungry. He knew what to order. Instead, he chose to sit there and play some games while I finish my convo with mom on the phone. When I was done, he just smiled at me and I had to walk all the way to the stall to order food.
Then it hit me, why am I constantly putting everyone else before myself?
Why doesn't anyone do it for me?
Not like it matters.
I'll still end up moping and letting it fester until it passes...
No comments:
Post a Comment