Saturday, January 2, 2010

Recap

I have this habit of writing to www.futureme.org and sending myself an email in the future from the past.

I just received one late last night and I thought I'd share it :)

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Thursday January 1, 2009 and sent via FutureMe.org
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Dear Claire

2008 was a rather eventful year for you.

Work
Work was fine. You managed to stay on and plough on through. You finally quit in Nov 2008 and will be joining Gamuda Land in Jan 2009.

Life
Life in general was good. Had quite some fun after the break up with Andy in 07 all the way to 2008. Got your first credit card. Bought both Penny and Poppy (which btw is something that will sooner or later get you broke!). Moving to KL in Jan 2009

Sayang
This year August would be one year since Sayang passed away. I still cannot look at his pictures and not have tears well up in my eyes. I still cannot walk into a pet store and see brown mini dutch lops and not cry. I miss my sayang so much

Andy
I realized not only did he have a thing for Emily earlier but he did have something on with Fukuko. He still denies it. But always trust your gut instincts. And after being with someone for 7 years, I'm sure you'll know if something's not right.

He finally came for a short visit in August 08. It was... momentous but rather awkward at the same time. I wasn't in love with him any more, and I don't think he was either. It was probably just something we had to do. I think we owed it to each other.

After he left, I was left in an emotional pile of crap. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think. I couldn't function. The only thing I could do was cry. Every time I replayed the part where he kissed me and told me that I was worth the wait at the airport, tears flowed down my cheeks like an open faucet.

We wanted to make it work after that. We talked about it - very briefly. But it was all talk, no action. Very usual of us. I give up. I really give up.

I've begun to come to terms that if it was meant to be, it would have bloody fucking happened. We had 7 years. I guess neither one of us really wanted it to happen.

Just as I give up. He doesn't want to let go. I don't know what he wants. When I used to text him and call him all the time. He wouldn't bloody respond. Now he bloody texts me all the time. WTF? Too late Andy... too late.

Love
Had a few heartaches as usual. Scumbags galore.

Colin
Finally the babygirl could stop hoping and wishing. Met a surprising person in August 2008 via Facebook. Sparks flew. Clicked instantly. Maybe we were meant to be. Like the strings of Yuet Lau. But we just needed time to grow up to learn more about ourselves.

The love of my life - Colin. I don't know what I'd be without you now. I cannot imagine life without you and it's only been 3 months. I get so emotional around you. That's how I know how much I love you. But that's also my insecurity. I love you too much. I cannot live without knowing that I am your one and only. I want you to know that you are the only one I want to be with and you are the only one that matters to me. I'm so glad that we're moving in together. I really cannot think of another person that I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

I love you hun, with all my heart and soul.

Looking forward to 2009
- new job
- new life
- new surroundings
- new love


The chinese zodiac says the 27 year old dogs who get together will provide support and strength for each other. Horoscope says that the Pisces and the Scorpio are perfect and is a celestial bond. Both water signs compliment each other.

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