So what defines you?

First post of the year and I am compelled by Lizzie Velasquez. 

This determined and cheerful young woman suffers from a super rare disease that has so far affected only three people (herself included) where they have no body fat. Like... None. At. All. 

Her question during a recent TED Talk prompted me to think really hard. Lizzie asked "What defines you?"

And it's really gotten me thinking. It's been about half an hour since I've watched this video and I still can't really figure out what defines me. Good one, and thank you Lizzie.

So I've decided let's start from the beginning...

As a young girl, what defined me was that I was a very good pianist, I spoke fluent English (coming from an Asian family living in South East Asia), I had good manners and my father had passed away.

Then in my teens, what defined me was how I was a struggling student. I wasn't an idiot. But I just wasn't that all interested in learning things in school and regurgitating how it works during exams. My friends were all doing well. I just couldn't entirely be bothered until my major finals.

College years were a little more fun for me. I was among the elite students and party girl that no one could mess with. College was surprisingly very easy for me so I graduated with a 3.75 GPA. I barely had to make an effort to succeed (the total opposite of secondary school) and spent a lot of time out partying, and that was what defined me.

Similarly in university, I only had to do two core units to pass and I kid you not when I say they were relatively easy units. So to fill up the rest of the credits, I decided to take things that I couldn't and wouldn't usually take up such as Myths & Legends, Film & Video, Third Year Japanese. But what was it that defined me then? I don't know. The girl who put on 20lbs within 6 month? The one who came with a twin attached? The girl who really loved bacon?

Then when I first started working - I had the whole notion that I'm gonna make it big. I'm going to be successful. I'm going to be the best writer the world has seen (we all know it's not true now hahaha) and I'm not going to let anything bring me down. 

Unfortunately my first job was incredibly taxing, so much so that I learnt to bottle things up and just get my job done. In the next few other jobs, I faced a similar problem with my superiors - the typical Asian-ness where the bosses are always right and you're never. Speak when you're spoken to. Don't get too chummy because I'm not your friend.

As you can see... I have lost my definition the moment I started transitioning into an adult. It is here that I realize I'm not special. I don't have special skills, or at least none that can propel me above the rest.

But after writing all these stuff down... I think I realize what defines me. This may change, but change is the only constant, no? :)

What defines me is how big my heart is. 

And I think that's good enough for me, thanks for your question, Lizzie xxx