This song in particular from her recent album really reaches out to me. I'm in denial about a relationship I'm in. Not that it's that much of a relationship anymore. We were together for 7 years, May this year would have marked the 8th year but we ended it last year, anyhoo we're still very much in contact and we're friends.
He was my best friend, my confidante and the love of my life. And you never throw away something like that easily.
Only my really close friends know about him because others think that this isn't real and that long distance relationships over continents with only technology to keep us together will never work. In fact only a handful of people even know about his existence and what he means to me because it's just too much to explain.
He recently came over for a visit and I had a wonderful three days with him. Things were rather awkward but at the same time everything felt so natural. Our relationship has gone to the level where we can just sit in the same room and we can be doing our own thing or just staring off into space and it feels natural. We don't need to speak to convey anything (which sometimes gets rather creepy)
I would love to try and keep this relationship going. Unfortunately the years and distance has taken a toll on the both of us and we know this is the best thing to do. We're both reluctant to move over and living 14hrs apart is not easy.
I don't know about him but I know I really am still hanging on, hoping that it will one day happen again for the both of us.
I've lived 8 years of my life with him in it.... I really can't imagine my life without my best friend, my confidante and the love of my life.... I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without my Andy.
But deep down, I know that it's never going to happen and it really sucks....
I've been crying since I left him at the airport gates.
He hugged me, kissed me on the forehead and tears just flowed. Then I pushed him away, looked down so that he wouldn't see my tears and said "Just go..." but my voice gave me away. I was quivering.
He didn't let go of me but tilted my chin up and I saw him smiling at me and then he asked "Are you crying?" Then he held me in his arms again and kissed me on the forehead. Then I looked up at him and he said "You were worth the wait," and then he kissed me on the lips and bear hugged me again.
Tears flowed like an open faucet. I couldn't take it. I pushed him away, wiped the tears away and looked at him and said "Just go... please...." and I walked away. I couldn't watch him go past the gates. I couldn't turn back to look at him because I know if I did, I would run after him and ask him not to leave me. I would cry. I would make a huge scene.
I had just said my final good bye to the love of my life. I know I'll probably never see him in real life again.
If holding on is hard, letting go is even harder. But I will always love him.... and nothing will ever change that.
the babygirl and Mr WeldonAugust 11, 2008 @ KLIA, Malaysia
Mariah Carey - I Stay In Love
I Stay In Love
Baby, I stay in love with you
Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make up break up can't take this madness
We don't even really know why all I know is baby I
Try and try so hard to keep our love alive
If you don't' know me at this point then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me that unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds I know
We said let it go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like 'Oh well' each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now, no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
It cuts so deep it hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall how
we gon' act like what we had
Ain't nothing at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block proud in the SU
We both know our heart is breakin'
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone, although I know
We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
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