As usual, on monthly anniversaries, he doesn't mention anything. Not even a special bear hug or anything. Me on the other hand, used to wake him up and snuggle down and wish him Happy xx Month.
It's a big deal for me. Yeah I know, sue me why don't you. But things like these matter to me because it's a sign of how far we've come.
Truthfully... these signs never fail to amaze me. I'm sure you would've noticed after reading my blog again and again.
The last two months, I didn't mention anything, and he didn't. Instead I made sure we have like a special cooked meal or we do something that we don't normally do. But I stopped mentioning. Just to see his reaction. Just as I thought - nada... zilch...
This time around - 10 months. I didn't say anything either. Neither did he. I was annoyed. To me (and I would guess most females) it's like 'Do you not care? Do you not remember???'
I'm not asking for the whole flowers, chocolate, romantic dinner shindig. I'm asking for a bit of recognition that you are glad that I am in your life because I sure as hell am glad that I have you in my life. That's all. Of course if the whole shindig thing comes up that'll be great but then again it's a monthly thing, I don't expect it, I am female after all.
So I threw a mini fit when I got home. He looked at me and said "Oh yeah! 10 months!" and that was it. So I continued to throw a fit - silent protest. Because let's face it, at the end of the day it's not that big a deal but I want him to know that it means something to me.
I asked a dreaded (or at least what I think was dreaded) question "Is it a guy thing or is it just a you thing that you don't remember?"
"It's not that I don't remember. It's just that I don't count by the months, it's so high school, hun..."
"So you count by years?"
"Yeah,"
Which is a bit odd because we haven't even gotten to a year and he's planning in the long run? But then again it's a good thing that he's planning in the long run.
So I had to set MY expectations straight.
"So you're saying, days and months... you don't do that any more... it's years now....? Because I need to set my own expectations straight. I don't want to have to constantly hope for something that's not going to happen..."
So we set some ground rules. It's the years that count. Not the days or the months. It's not that he doesn't care, it's just not his style. Just like doing hundred-day counts and monthly things, it'll just be my own thing.
At least now I know not to be pissed when he doesn't seem to remember.
But you know what... I had just realized something that I've always known since the beginning of our relationship - I don't care about it all as long as we're together... and right now, he's driving home because Biggie (our Volvo) is due for servicing and needs some stuff checked up as well... all that stuff that I mentioned earlier (which I should mention, I wrote earlier on today as a draft) pales in comparison to what I feel right now.
It's odd. He'll only be gone for two days.
Yet I feel so lost without him here.
I feel so alone...
Honey... come home quick :'( I miss you
It's a big deal for me. Yeah I know, sue me why don't you. But things like these matter to me because it's a sign of how far we've come.
Truthfully... these signs never fail to amaze me. I'm sure you would've noticed after reading my blog again and again.
The last two months, I didn't mention anything, and he didn't. Instead I made sure we have like a special cooked meal or we do something that we don't normally do. But I stopped mentioning. Just to see his reaction. Just as I thought - nada... zilch...
This time around - 10 months. I didn't say anything either. Neither did he. I was annoyed. To me (and I would guess most females) it's like 'Do you not care? Do you not remember???'
I'm not asking for the whole flowers, chocolate, romantic dinner shindig. I'm asking for a bit of recognition that you are glad that I am in your life because I sure as hell am glad that I have you in my life. That's all. Of course if the whole shindig thing comes up that'll be great but then again it's a monthly thing, I don't expect it, I am female after all.
So I threw a mini fit when I got home. He looked at me and said "Oh yeah! 10 months!" and that was it. So I continued to throw a fit - silent protest. Because let's face it, at the end of the day it's not that big a deal but I want him to know that it means something to me.
I asked a dreaded (or at least what I think was dreaded) question "Is it a guy thing or is it just a you thing that you don't remember?"
"It's not that I don't remember. It's just that I don't count by the months, it's so high school, hun..."
"So you count by years?"
"Yeah,"
Which is a bit odd because we haven't even gotten to a year and he's planning in the long run? But then again it's a good thing that he's planning in the long run.
So I had to set MY expectations straight.
"So you're saying, days and months... you don't do that any more... it's years now....? Because I need to set my own expectations straight. I don't want to have to constantly hope for something that's not going to happen..."
So we set some ground rules. It's the years that count. Not the days or the months. It's not that he doesn't care, it's just not his style. Just like doing hundred-day counts and monthly things, it'll just be my own thing.
At least now I know not to be pissed when he doesn't seem to remember.
But you know what... I had just realized something that I've always known since the beginning of our relationship - I don't care about it all as long as we're together... and right now, he's driving home because Biggie (our Volvo) is due for servicing and needs some stuff checked up as well... all that stuff that I mentioned earlier (which I should mention, I wrote earlier on today as a draft) pales in comparison to what I feel right now.
It's odd. He'll only be gone for two days.
Yet I feel so lost without him here.
I feel so alone...
Honey... come home quick :'( I miss you
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