dreams again

I had another dream... this time instead of that bitch, there are two of his ex-es in it....

We were at this party... and we got separated for a bit.... when I found him, he were canoodling Shirley....hugging her from the back, like how he nuzzles me always....

I was mortified..... I just froze and stared not knowing what to do... then he looked up and saw me standing there.

He immediately let go came over and told me 'it's just a congratulatory hug,' but his face told me that he was just trying to pacify me and calm me down....

Later, I went to the toilet and when I came back, he was doing the same thing... but this time with another ex, Grace...

I flipped out and screamed at him... then i stormed off....

He ran after me... but instead of pulling me back, he screamed

"This what I are and there's nothing you can do to stop it!"

Then he caught up with me and yanked me by the arm and said that if it pisses me off that much then fine it's over... then you let go off my arm roughly and walked off

You didn't care...

You didn't see that the push made me fall down...

You just went back to the party and laughed and talked as though nothing happened...

I sat there for a bit and then picked myself up. I met some friends there and they both told me to just chill and hang out.... have fun at the party....

After a bit you came back, it was like you had bipolar or something. You acted as though nothing had happened. Like we didn't fight at all.... but you were injured.... you had a huge gash on your right leg but you made it look like it didn't hurt at all, joking around ... then I woke up

So I checked what the dream meant... and apparently to dream of your partner's ex... suggests that I may be comparing myself to that person and the dream is telling me not to make the same mistakes in the relationship that they did

To dream that you are arguing, suggests that you are trying to resolve some internal conflict or some unsettled issue in your waking life. Consider the symbolism of whom you are arguing with and what you are arguing about. How does he or she reflect some person or some aspect of yourself in your waking life?

Requiscat in pace

Dear Caerwyn

Little white fortress...

Requiscat in pace

Mama loves you

electro.pup wins Best Dance Act at VIMA2010

The day had finally arrived.....

VIMA2010!!!!


Loads of great performances. Great venue. Great times.

The theme was 'indiecent' so.... this is what I wore :P


Hosts were : C. Loco, Adrea Abdullah and Moe Nasrul

There were plenty of performances -

The Poseidon Connection ft Kraft

Benchmarx with their ever so attention grabbing durian. Man these guys really were the most enthusiastic bunch!

Adi Rani & Juju (all the way from Brunei!!!) with brilliant vocals - esp Juju's

C. Loco with his new tune. Smashing female vocalist doing the background....

HOWEVER...

Imma focus on the electro.pup though :P

electro.pup with the emcees - C. Loco, Adrea Abdullah and Moe Nasrul

uh oh... a tie with Ze! Can you blame the judges? They're equally awesome!

the babygirl and her award winning electro.pup

yay!!!

Ze! and electro.pup

electro.pup and Siva Chandran - the mastermind of VIMA

So with VIMA 2010 done.... next up - AVIMA 2010!!!

Everything Happens For A Reason

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out whom you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them; you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential strength, willpower or heart. Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity.....all occurs to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talks to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you.

Anais Nin

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality, the touchstone, the command, my pivot.

I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."

Anais Nin

I know this seems unlikely for a woman in this time and age.

But I am after all a traditionalist deep down.

And this is what I really want....

Gender Bender

Male or Female ?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go any where, you have to light a fire under their butt

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are
occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

Recap

I have this habit of writing to www.futureme.org and sending myself an email in the future from the past.

I just received one late last night and I thought I'd share it :)

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Thursday January 1, 2009 and sent via FutureMe.org
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Claire

2008 was a rather eventful year for you.

Work
Work was fine. You managed to stay on and plough on through. You finally quit in Nov 2008 and will be joining Gamuda Land in Jan 2009.

Life
Life in general was good. Had quite some fun after the break up with Andy in 07 all the way to 2008. Got your first credit card. Bought both Penny and Poppy (which btw is something that will sooner or later get you broke!). Moving to KL in Jan 2009

Sayang
This year August would be one year since Sayang passed away. I still cannot look at his pictures and not have tears well up in my eyes. I still cannot walk into a pet store and see brown mini dutch lops and not cry. I miss my sayang so much

Andy
I realized not only did he have a thing for Emily earlier but he did have something on with Fukuko. He still denies it. But always trust your gut instincts. And after being with someone for 7 years, I'm sure you'll know if something's not right.

He finally came for a short visit in August 08. It was... momentous but rather awkward at the same time. I wasn't in love with him any more, and I don't think he was either. It was probably just something we had to do. I think we owed it to each other.

After he left, I was left in an emotional pile of crap. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think. I couldn't function. The only thing I could do was cry. Every time I replayed the part where he kissed me and told me that I was worth the wait at the airport, tears flowed down my cheeks like an open faucet.

We wanted to make it work after that. We talked about it - very briefly. But it was all talk, no action. Very usual of us. I give up. I really give up.

I've begun to come to terms that if it was meant to be, it would have bloody fucking happened. We had 7 years. I guess neither one of us really wanted it to happen.

Just as I give up. He doesn't want to let go. I don't know what he wants. When I used to text him and call him all the time. He wouldn't bloody respond. Now he bloody texts me all the time. WTF? Too late Andy... too late.

Love
Had a few heartaches as usual. Scumbags galore.

Colin
Finally the babygirl could stop hoping and wishing. Met a surprising person in August 2008 via Facebook. Sparks flew. Clicked instantly. Maybe we were meant to be. Like the strings of Yuet Lau. But we just needed time to grow up to learn more about ourselves.

The love of my life - Colin. I don't know what I'd be without you now. I cannot imagine life without you and it's only been 3 months. I get so emotional around you. That's how I know how much I love you. But that's also my insecurity. I love you too much. I cannot live without knowing that I am your one and only. I want you to know that you are the only one I want to be with and you are the only one that matters to me. I'm so glad that we're moving in together. I really cannot think of another person that I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

I love you hun, with all my heart and soul.

Looking forward to 2009
- new job
- new life
- new surroundings
- new love

The chinese zodiac says the 27 year old dogs who get together will provide support and strength for each other. Horoscope says that the Pisces and the Scorpio are perfect and is a celestial bond. Both water signs compliment each other.

アケオメ!!! ♥ Welcome 2010!!!

"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, and it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to." - Meredith Grey :: Begin the Begin

And so another year, another decade begins. It doesn't feel that all different. I think, as people, we place too much importance on dates and all that. Yes, it marks the turning of a decade. But how does it really change your life?

Since I barely kept any of my 2009's resolutions *cringe* I'm not going to begin with any this year.

Instead I shall try to practice the Law of Attraction as much as I can...

Happy New Year everyone!