I have this bad habit... of letting things fester... of putting others before myself.
And then I get pissed about it.
But I don't say anything and let the feeling pass.
Why?
Well, sometimes most times I feel that there's no point getting all worked up about stuff like these.
I'll get pissed. I'll say things I don't mean. I'll become this really angry little monster, which I don't enjoy... and for what?
Just to blow off a little steam?
Nah...
Earlier today, everything was pissing me off, up to a point where I just didn't want to look at anything.
So at the dinner table, I took my glasses off and just closed my eyes.
The pup asked "Are you ok?"
I gave the universal answer for 'leave me alone' "Yeah I'm fine, it's nothing."
He pressed on for a bit and it got to a point where I almost screamed at him and then he shut up.
What was I so pissed off about?
Mom - for telling me that same problem she has over and over again. I've offered so many solutions that I want to bang my head on the wall.
Pup - for being so bloody dependant on me. We were hungry. He knew what to order. Instead, he chose to sit there and play some games while I finish my convo with mom on the phone. When I was done, he just smiled at me and I had to walk all the way to the stall to order food.
Then it hit me, why am I constantly putting everyone else before myself?
Why doesn't anyone do it for me?
Not like it matters.
I'll still end up moping and letting it fester until it passes...
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