Are these signs?

I believe dreams are either a way for us to work out our frustrations or just a sign that things are going to happen.

I just woke up from a weird one

- proposed to by prince harry (very young one albeit) but gorgeous ring and it was a fun proposal in front of everyone. he was wearing a grey suit

- change scene - was at some conference, dropped pup off earlier while i went to finish up work

- as I was leaving the hotel, the pup leaned over the railing at the restaurant to watch as I walked towards the carpark. We gave each other flying kisses as I disappeared.

- was going to go get lunch but it was raining madness so I got really wet. Wearing white working shirt and had really lustrous hair

- gave up in the end and drove back to the hotel

- there was a road block of some sort but i managed to avoid it (reality check: we just saw a road block heading towards the NKVE from the LDP today)

- somehow i had to wear pants back on because i had taken them off earlier (rain) and i bumped in to four people who supposedly are people i work with - they said they'd gotten the presentation done, all I had to do was read through and get rid of items from it. I felt rather pissed at them for some matter so I gave them the finger and went into the hotel.

- the room door was unlocked so I walked right in only to see someone (who is supposedly my mom) making out with another dude.... AND the pup naked in bed with another woman. I turn green with rage - scream and slapped him but he didn't wake up, so I dragged him out of bed to the bathroom and amazingly picked him up with one hand and splashed his face with water, with my other hand. He woke up and was VERY surprised to see me. I was incoherent then, was just screaming at him.

- as usual he kept apologizing and when I noticed her standing there (she had time to fully dress). she was plain looking and I distinctively remembered her horrid eyeshadow and slit eyes. I was so mad, I grabbed her by the hair at the back of her head and demanded the pup to tell me why.

- it somehow links back to the first dream. apparently he married her too... and it was tiring for him to constantly wlait for me as I work.

I woke up at 4.30am

I apologize for a really random post as my eyes and brains are struggling to type...

:(

I haven't had a horrid dream in a really long time and I really hate it when I wake up in tears...

Just now I woke up from a dream where reality was just so weird and unusual, but normal at the same time, it made me uber confuzzled (learnt this new word from Mann. It's a portmanteau of confused and puzzled. Cool eh?).

Yeah so in my dream, puppy broke up with me and asked me to move out. But since he knows its hard for me to just find a place, he said I could stay here till then.

And it was just so weird coming home to see him at his desk playing some game or mastering some track, knowing that he heard me coming in and he didn't even flinch a muscle (this is of course a metaphor because if you're playing games or mastering a track, you'd be flinching plenty of muscles). There was no more welcoming hug, there was no more "How was your day bunny?" and there was no more kiss on the forehead.

Instead I walked past the room door, looked in and said "Hi, I'm home..." and all I got was a grunt.

Anyways I checked the dream dictionary and in a dream, if your boyfriend says he doesn't love you any more, that's just your own insecurities in a relationship. Either that or both of you are just going through a relationship cycle/new level where you might feel left out or you don't really get what he's really going through.

What a dream to have right before my birthday... :(

w00t?

*sigh*

insecurities

I told you so. In an earlier post I was saying that I just don't get to spend enough time at home now. I really do feel guilty.

As a result... the yearning, and mostly guilt manifested in my dream.

I dreamt that I was away on a weekened assignment (as I do quite often these few months) and it got canceled, so I came home. Only to find my largest insecurity come to life (well just in my dream).

In the dream I asked him why. He told me that since I'm always at work and all, he got bored.

To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truthful or is not fully committed in the relationship.

I'm pretty sure it is just the self esteem and all that, since I'm not spending enough time.

Bleh.

this shouldn't be happening

I'm having paranoid dream attacks. Two nights in a row...

It's very subtle, but it's there.

This shouldn't be happening now... not now... not after all that has happened, not after all that we've worked on, not after what we have been through.

I really pray it's just my conscienceness playing a game with me... I really do

Dreams

I had a strange dream last night. At one point it was as if the puppy and I had gotten our own place cuz we were throwing some sort of shower and there were gifts everywhere.

But somehow I was just feeling rather pissed at something and decided to kill myself.

Oddly, there were two of me – a physical and a spiritual me. The physical me looked a bit ethereal, wearing a white flowy dress and had short hair (like me circa 2007 with my short bob).

She hung a noose and calmly looped it around her neck and just sat with her legs crossed as though she was meditating. The spiritual me (which was the eyes that I was looking through) gave her a push. She swung to and fro as though on a swing.

After a bit I realized it wasn’t right and that ‘someone’ was coming home soon, so I quickly ran over to the physical me and helped her off the noose. By that time she was choking already.

There was one part where I saw Tris playing with Byte. She was trying to run away but he toyed with her. Every time she made it a certain distance, he would pick her up and put her back. The poor girl was running in circles non stop trying to escape.

It pissed me. So I went over to pick her up. The poor little girl was exhausted. Her breathing was erratic and she had run so much, her eyeballs were about to pop out. *sigh*

Then my dream switched to another scene. It looked like one of those floating markets in Bangkok except that it wasn’t. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.

There was a commotion on one end, so I inched my way through the crowds to see. Curiosity does kill the cat. All of a sudden every thing moved in slow motion. People around me moved away and were gasping and pointing at me. They looked like I just exploded.

I looked down and hmm they were right. A single stray bullet hit me in the midsection. Right below my ribcage and above my belly button. It was like I had two belly buttons.

Then everything went back to normal pace and people were screaming and running away. No one offered to help me.

Blood was gushing out of my wound. Instinctively I pressed on it to help stop the bleeding and staggered off.

I ended up in a shopping mall. My shirt was all bloodied at the midsection. There was a little burnt hole right where the bullet went through my top and into my body. My wound had stopped bleeding and I could see the bullet embedded in my stomach.

Then I woke up.

So yeah I’ll never know what happened in the end.

But here’s some interpretations of my dream.

To see your boyfriend in your dream, represents your waking relationship with him and how you feel about him.

To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.

To dream that you are hanging yourself, suggests that you are trying to escape from some guilt or fear. Consider also the image as a pun for something in your life which you have left hanging or unfinished.

To see your or someone else's pet in your dream, represents civilized instincts. You are keeping your temper in line. Alternatively, it indicates a need for love and acceptance. You are lacking attention from others and are feeling neglected. The pet may also be a pun for "petting" as in some sexual behavior.

To dream of being hit by a bullet, suggests that you need to persevere and endure the difficult times.

To see a wound in your dream, is symbolic of grief, anger, and distress. You are looking to be healed. Consider the location, size and type of wound. Alternatively, the dream may be metaphor suggests that you are "wound up" or tense about some situation.

dreams again

I had another dream... this time instead of that bitch, there are two of his ex-es in it....

We were at this party... and we got separated for a bit.... when I found him, he were canoodling Shirley....hugging her from the back, like how he nuzzles me always....

I was mortified..... I just froze and stared not knowing what to do... then he looked up and saw me standing there.

He immediately let go came over and told me 'it's just a congratulatory hug,' but his face told me that he was just trying to pacify me and calm me down....

Later, I went to the toilet and when I came back, he was doing the same thing... but this time with another ex, Grace...

I flipped out and screamed at him... then i stormed off....

He ran after me... but instead of pulling me back, he screamed

"This what I are and there's nothing you can do to stop it!"

Then he caught up with me and yanked me by the arm and said that if it pisses me off that much then fine it's over... then you let go off my arm roughly and walked off

You didn't care...

You didn't see that the push made me fall down...

You just went back to the party and laughed and talked as though nothing happened...

I sat there for a bit and then picked myself up. I met some friends there and they both told me to just chill and hang out.... have fun at the party....

After a bit you came back, it was like you had bipolar or something. You acted as though nothing had happened. Like we didn't fight at all.... but you were injured.... you had a huge gash on your right leg but you made it look like it didn't hurt at all, joking around ... then I woke up

So I checked what the dream meant... and apparently to dream of your partner's ex... suggests that I may be comparing myself to that person and the dream is telling me not to make the same mistakes in the relationship that they did

To dream that you are arguing, suggests that you are trying to resolve some internal conflict or some unsettled issue in your waking life. Consider the symbolism of whom you are arguing with and what you are arguing about. How does he or she reflect some person or some aspect of yourself in your waking life?

Nightmares again

Had some more nightmares.... this was a really long one though....

But it is just so BLOODY annoying because how do you expect me to honor my end of the promise if I keep getting vibes from you?

I'm having the same dreams again and again and again

And it's not that I don't want to give you the benefit of the doubt... it's just that once bitten twice shy. You've allowed me to be bitten twice...

I can let go of the first 'mistake' but not the second one.

Where you knew it wasn't something you should've done and yet you did it. When you knew it would hurt me and our relationship and yet you went ahead with it.

I'm trying to learn to trust you. I really am. But I cannot do it if you cannot assure me that there is nothing to worry about...

So until you really can show me you are honoring your end of the promise... I cannot show you that I am.

We live on a two-way street. Deal with it.

Two nightmares in a night

I'm looking for a way to vent out my frustrations and to learn forgiveness and somehow it seems to be channeling through my dreams.

I had two nightmares last night and couldn't figure out why or how to deal with it. My dreams... when they are vivid and jolt me out of bed feeling exactly the same way I was feeling in the dreams usually means something. No I'm not just saying it just to sound deep and what not. But I'm saying it because it has always been that way. So much so that I have learnt to decipher my dreams to understand my inner demons.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nightmare #1
He was supposed to tell her to fuck off and kick her out of our lives, as promised. But instead, there was a mile long explanation... 457 lines long of Gtalk IM explaining to her why. Why the fuck would he need to explain to her why. She knows. She knows I dislike her in our lives. She knows I don't want her in our lives. She knows I am this close to enforcing a warrant that she cannot come NEAR us at all and yet she's spiteful. She wants to make me feel some pain. She wants to win.

I asked him about it and he blew up. Like he had something to hide. He screamed and scolded me in the dream. He accused me of being distrustful and not holding on to what we said we would do. I screamed back pot calling the kettle black.

I woke up in a shock. Heart pounding. Scared. Not wanting to go back to sleep in case my dream continues. I finally fell asleep after a bit because of exhaustion.

Nightmare #2
Somehow we were in another house which was our home and someone was giving up a pup for adoption. He was bloody eager to adopt the pup. I was neither here nor there. I didn't want to because I knew we didn't have the time or the space for a dog in our apartment. He was adamant. So I gave in.

Somehow or rather along the line, the puppy adoption comes with a kid. Little 3-4 year old Malay boy - Aiman. He was even more eager to adopt the child together. I told him we cannot handle it because we're both not mature enough. We don't have the financial or the physical capability to take care of the two girls, a puppy and an adopted son. He insisted. So I gave in as usual. I always give in to him because I want him to be happy. So I started to bond with the child. Then I realized he was missing. Aiman asked where was he. So I decided to look for him.

I searched high and low around the house and reached outside our room door. It was closed. I knocked. I heard him say "Baby don't come in! Don't come in!" but I went in anyways. He was there making out with someone and when I screamed bloody murder again. He screamed back. Calling me distrustful again. We had a big fight and he wanted out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

How can I even begin to let go and trust you back after how you have hurt me? How can I honor our promise to each other when you have not?

I'm very sure he hasn't told her to fuck off yet. There will be hell to pay soon.