Free your mind

I was scouring webpage after webpage looking for an inspiration to write (for work of course) and instead I found inspiration to write something here :P Found this website which has 50 questions That Will Free Your Mind... and as I read thru the first few ones, I thought "Oooohhh blogpost!!! Blogpost!!!" Yeah, so anyways... here's my take on the questions... 1. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? Seriously, in the last few months... I've had so many things on my mind, I had to actually sit back to figure out how old I am. But I guess I'd have to say mid-20s. I really don't feel like I'm about to hit the big three-o. 2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. I hate the feeling of knowing that I never tried. At least if I failed, I know it's something I'm not capable of... but to go through life thinking "What if..." just kills me 3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do? Society and peer pressure. We do what society says we should do or else we're outcasts or weird or eccentric. 4. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done? Yes that's for sure. Much as I'd like to take action, I talk and think more than I actually do. Shameful, really. 5. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world? You know, I'm not too sure. There are just so many things - but I guess patience? 6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make your rich? Smiles and hugs!!! 7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you're doing? When I first switched jobs, I thought I was doing what I believed in. I thought I was done chasing my career dream, that I've landed my dream job. Yeah... only to realize I didn't and now I'm doing it because I said I'd commit myself to it. 8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? If that were true, I'd want to quit my job and just backpack across the world! So much to see, learn and experience and so little time. 9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Not much. I'm not a very aggressive kind of person. I've pretty much lived my life the way it's been planned out in the past. I didn't move to the city for college because mom wanted me nearby. I went to university in Australia because mom wanted me to (I wanted Canada - and the shitty thing was, BOTH universities accepted and exempted me for 2 years on their degree programs. Canada was 4 years in total, Australia was 3. You do the math). I'm working because society says this is what you should do after completing your tertiary studies.

The only things I control the course of my life is via my vices/indulgences/whatever you call it.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I'm more worried about doing the right thing. Because most times it's the more difficult and challenging choice to make. 11. You're having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Been there, done that. Depending on who all these people are... but to be safe I've had people bash up my best friend in front of me... and my best friend talking shit about my boyfriend. Most times, I'll leave them to it and dont' add on anything. After all, it is their opinion, and everyone's entitled to a few, aren't they? I mean, to me - it sometimes doesn't really matter because I know that person and in situations like these, mostly likely I know that person MUCH better than they do... so just smile and drink your coffee. 12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Sleep more. 13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Depends on what the loved one did... 14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? All the time... I am after all sharing my life with an insanely creative person 15. What's something you know you do differently than most people? Live life? 16. How come the things that make you happy don't make everyone happy?

Because I'm able to find joy in the simplest things? Because I'm not as materialistic as most other women?

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back? Bungee jump. Fear holds me back. 18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Yes... but I'm not entirely sure what it is... still trying to figure it out.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Well the pup and I have been in discussions about moving to Melbourne but that's still in planning and will take a while before we really see any results from there. 20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator go faster? To close the doors, yes. Other than that - sometimes... if the elevator takes too long... I do it mostly out of boredom though... 21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton. I love not having anything much to worry about. Makes life so much more worth living! 22. Why are you, you? Because I am not you or anyone else for that matter. 23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Depending on which friend you're talking about :P 24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? The latter. Both my best friends live in different countries and despite the time differences and work schedules, we still make time to talk all the time... 25. What are you most grateful for? The people in my life - past, present and future. Without them, I would never be who I am and the person I will become. 26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Hmmm... I'm not that all sure really. 27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Gee this is deep... I guess it depends on the situation, really... 28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? *sigh* which greatest fear? If you're talking about something that I worry about before turning 30 then yes. If not then my greatest fear before I hit 40 has not happened yet... phew! 29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Okay... five years ago I was 24. What happened at 24.... well I was leaving Australia to come back to Malaysia and it was really upsetting because I had to leave my sister (from other parents) behind. We had lived our lives together, literally 24/7 since we were 16... and for the first time in my life I had to really be on my own.

I remember waking up the next day in Malaysia and I cried. I cried because I was alone. I cried because I couldn't go online to talk to her. I cried because I hadn't gotten a cell phone yet so I couldn't call or text her. I cried.

So yes, I remember that time 5 years ago when I was exteremly upset and yes it still does matter. She's still in Australia and I'm still in Malaysia. We haven't physically seen each other for about 4 years now and I miss her like crazy!

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Hanging out with my grandfather. I'm about two or three years old... he's sitting in his usual chair and I'm standing on his feet. We used to play the "swings" where I stand on his feet and he lifts his legs up straight and I go from standing straight to "flying". It's special because it's one of the few memories I actually have of my childhood. I don't remember much as a child. 31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

When I was in university - living on my own (well not really on my own because I had my sister with me) in a foreign country and really standing on my two feet.

I loved being responsible for myself. I loved making decisions for myself. I loved seeing how well I lived my life there.

32. If not now, then when?

Hopefully I'll be able to do that again in less than five years time. Fingers crossed!

33. If you haven't achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

I don't know... my pride? My dignity? My sanity? 34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing and walked away feeling like you've just had the best conversation ever? Yes :) Well not really best conversation ever... but just the best time fo my life... 35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Where there's black, there's white. Where there's good, there's evil. Where there's love, there's war. 36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

I guess. Most times it's a gut instinct. Other times it's just something you have to know over time and experiences.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

In a heartbeat, yes! 38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More of what I enjoy doing. I really don't mind work... I just don't like it when I'm doing something that doesn't matter to me or that are against what I believe in.

39. Do you feel like you've lived this day a hundred times before?

Oh yes, definitely. I feel like I'm living this hour over and over again.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

I'd say about 1 1/2 to 2 years ago... I remember being very upset with someone and thought that it might be the end of the road. Then a flicker of hope (yeah okay I know it's such a bloody cliche) came and showed me the way. 41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

I really shouldn't answer this. I don't even know why I'm thinking of him.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Well if the average human life expentancy is 40... sure why not? 43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

I think being alive, is just really feeling thankful. Truly living is appreciation for everything.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Hahaha it's gotta be a gut feeling you get to know when. No one can tell you when. It's like jumping off the diving board. The coach or mom or dad or your teammates can scream at you "JUMP NOW!!!" but if you don't feel it, don't do it. Simple as that. 45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because much as we CAN learn, mistakes are usually costly. 46. What would you differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I'd love not wear as much clothes. I'd be a hippie if I could!

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

At work, never. At home - usually when I'm in bed, awake in the mornings.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions open expressed this love?

I love dogs, bunnies, guinea pigs - basically cute furry little animals. I love playing the piano. I love dancing ballet.

For the first one, well I have two guinea piggies so yeah I feed them, make sure they get good quality food, talk to them that sorta thing. I love giving them little treats - like a slice of green apple once in a while (especially when I'm prepping some Bircher muesli) or a teensy bit of screwpine leaf or a nice cold piece of Romaine lettuce when I come home from work.

Piano and ballet - I wish I could express myself thru these two but unfortunately with time and financial constraints, I'm not able to. They're in my future plans though!

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Maybe. Because yesterday I rushed home from work to play Bomberman and Super Mario Bros. Puppy installed these old skool games on the pc outside and I'm going nuts over it! 50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself or are you letting others make them for you? Unfortunately I'm letting other make them for me. I'm in a phase where I just want to sit and let them worry about everything. I'll just do what I'm being told.