I like to read stuff like relationship advice and all that once in a while. But it does get a bit depressing at times because you get a lot of stuff like - where is your relationship going, how do you know if he's the one, is he really faithful and shit like that.
Today, I saw "The five signs he'll never cheat" and I swear, a light beamed all the way down from the heavens and shone on me. At last, a positive article to read!!!
But sadly, as I read through, it was pretty much as bad as reading those negative articles. My comments in red.
The five signs he’ll never cheat
08 Jun, 2010
If only Sandra Bullock had access to this beforehand…
1. He keeps dates and tells you where he’s been
If your partner is honest and respectful of you in one area of your relationship, it’s almost safe to say he’ll be the same in other areas. Dr Zita Weber, academic, counsellor and author of Unfaithfully Yours (New Holland, $26.95), feels that keeping commitments, such as dates, is a good indicator of the strength of your relationship.
“That’s a huge demonstration of respect that you don’t rescind on bargains and plans. With any sort of cancellation at the last hour, I think you’d have to worry about that person’s ability to commit to you and what you’re doing together.”
08 Jun, 2010
If only Sandra Bullock had access to this beforehand…
1. He keeps dates and tells you where he’s been
If your partner is honest and respectful of you in one area of your relationship, it’s almost safe to say he’ll be the same in other areas. Dr Zita Weber, academic, counsellor and author of Unfaithfully Yours (New Holland, $26.95), feels that keeping commitments, such as dates, is a good indicator of the strength of your relationship.
“That’s a huge demonstration of respect that you don’t rescind on bargains and plans. With any sort of cancellation at the last hour, I think you’d have to worry about that person’s ability to commit to you and what you’re doing together.”
Well, he doesn't necessarily need to tell me where he's been since I do know his schedule. But it would be nice to get a text or something "I'm off... see you home later!" or something like that. Women like to be acknowledged. But then again it's not like it's a big deal anyways...
2. He introduces you to his friends
Awkward dating scenario #2,938: You’ve been seeing each other for a few months but he still makes excuses for you not to meet his pals.
While it’s possible that you’re so damn cool he’s worried his dorky friends might tarnish your opinion of him, it also could be that he’s worried his mates might reveal things he’s been up to behind your back. Meeting his gang is a sign that he’s serious and knows there’s nothing they could tell you about him that would make you any less crazy about him (except possibly that time he wet his pants in Year 3).
Oddly, since we do have a very large pool of mutual friends, there was not much need to really introduce each other to anyone. But he does have some friends from college days which he talks about but has never introduced me to... ho hum, not the end of the world... NEXT!!!
3. He’s never cheated in past relationships
Ideally, in a monogamous relationship, you’d want both partners to be of the mindset that cheating is unacceptable. Hopefully, if he ever felt that temptation, he’d be honest enough to admit that perhaps he wanted to break up or see other people. So if he mentions he’s never strayed and finds the mere notion hard to fathom, and he seems genuine, it could indicate that he’s not a player.
That said, he could always be lying. But if a guy admits to you that past relationships have ended because of his indiscretions, be wary – it’s possible he’s telling you this so that if he does ever cheat, he can always say, “Well, I warned you!”.
3. He’s never cheated in past relationships
Ideally, in a monogamous relationship, you’d want both partners to be of the mindset that cheating is unacceptable. Hopefully, if he ever felt that temptation, he’d be honest enough to admit that perhaps he wanted to break up or see other people. So if he mentions he’s never strayed and finds the mere notion hard to fathom, and he seems genuine, it could indicate that he’s not a player.
That said, he could always be lying. But if a guy admits to you that past relationships have ended because of his indiscretions, be wary – it’s possible he’s telling you this so that if he does ever cheat, he can always say, “Well, I warned you!”.
Okay see now this is the part where I start to doubt things. I have no idea if he's cheated in any of his past relationships but I know he has cheated once when we had just first started dating. He said he was confused. But after that he realized that I was the one he wanted, yadda3x. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Forgive... not entirely. Forget... trying really hard to.
4. He’s emotionally loyal to you
Being loyal isn’t just about him keeping it in his pants. It’s also about having your back in other ways. “We’ve all been in that place where you’ve really felt that this person is really committed to you,” says Weber.
“And they demonstrate that loyalty in every sort of way, such as defending you in an argument at a dinner party – even if you might be wrong. There are ways of showing people that you’re loyal to them in the emotional sense, not just the sexual sense.”
4. He’s emotionally loyal to you
Being loyal isn’t just about him keeping it in his pants. It’s also about having your back in other ways. “We’ve all been in that place where you’ve really felt that this person is really committed to you,” says Weber.
“And they demonstrate that loyalty in every sort of way, such as defending you in an argument at a dinner party – even if you might be wrong. There are ways of showing people that you’re loyal to them in the emotional sense, not just the sexual sense.”
This he is. He has my back when it comes to friends and family. Much as he doesn't like family outings (I have a large family - my dad has 10 siblings and mom has 8, go figure the amount of cousins, aunts, uncles and whatnot), he does come along and he does put on his best behavior.
5. Your gut instinct says he’s trustworthy
It turns out instinct isn’t some sort of magical dishonesty detection system – it’s actually our subconscious picking up on real-life indicators. “People call it gut instinct, but it’s really clues around you that you’re osmotically picking up,” says Weber.
So, if you feel like you can trust him but can’t quite pinpoint why, it’s most likely because you’ve actually been subconsciously noticing all the actions he’s been doing that demonstrate he’s a committed and trustworthy guy.
This is the worst part. My gut tells me that I love him but do not trust him entirely. This whole one just trumped every other sign. *sigh*
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