Sempurna

I heard this song over the radio the other day and the lyrics of the song just reached out and sucked me in... I couldn't imagine loving someone so much as the lyrics say.

I always find some sort of fault with every person I am with.

But after listening to this song, I realize, everyone, when in a relationship will feel that the other person completes the missing piece in their lives - whether you want to admit it or not.

It makes me realize that at the peak of the relationship, this is what I feel all the time.

Love conquers all.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I yearn for the romance spun in love stories, movies, poetry and songs.

I felt this rush of emotions surging through when I think of the most recent relationship. Not that it was really one to even consider a real relationship. But whatever it is, whatever I went through with him for the past 4 days, I felt invincible. I felt that nothing could go bad. I felt that I was on top of the world. It felt perfect.

The chorus touches my heart the most. Generally if it's translated into English and sung, it would be UBER cheesy but here, it is one of most beautiful lines I have ever heard.

I hope one day, someone.... will sing this for me... and not because I like the song.... but because he really feels this way for me....

Andra and The Back Bone - Sempurna

Kau begitu sempurna (You are so perfect)
Dimataku kau begitu indah (In my eyes you are so beautiful)
Kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujamu (You make me want to praise you always)

Disetiap langkahku (In every step that I take)
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu (My self will always think of you)
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu (I can't get used to imagining life without your love)

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku (Don't you leave me please)
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua (I can't face all this)
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa (Only with you, I can)

Kau adalah darahku (You are my blood)
Kau adalah jantungku (You are my heart)
Kau adalah hidupku (You are my life)
Lengkapi diriku (Completes me)
Oh sayangku, kau begitu (Oh my love, you are so)
Sempurna... Sempurna... (Perfect... perfect...)

Kau genggam tanganku (You hold my hand tight)
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh (At moments when I am weak and fallen)
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku (You whisper words and rid all my regrets)

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku (Don't you leave me please)
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua (I can't face all this)
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa (Only with you, I can)

Kau adalah darahku (You are my blood)
Kau adalah jantungku (You are my heart)
Kau adalah hidupku (You are my life)
Lengkapi diriku (Completes me)
Oh sayangku, kau begitu (Oh my love, you are so)
Sempurna... Sempurna... (Perfect... perfect...)

Kau genggam tanganku (You hold my hand tight)
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh (At moments when I am weak and fallen)
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku (You whisper words and rid all my regrets)

i hate relationships

I had just come back from one of the largest IT exhibitions/congress in the world. I've been working my ass off for the past few months preparing for this and we're JUST a state partner, I can't imagine what the organizers had to go through! kudos peeps!

Right before I left for the exhibition/congress, I had an argument with someone really close to me... it was partly my fault... but then again I had to get it off my chest. I knew I had to say something. I could not hold it in anymore. Keeping secrets to yourself only does damage to your soul.

Going off for work, one week away from home - good time to clear head. Or so I thought.

You know how things always happen or pop up when you least expect it? I hate it when that happens, because the optimist in me believes that "Oh my god... could this be it?!?!" and I get all excited for a teeny little thing.

I met a guy while at work. He was nice. Not super good looking but not too bad either. But then again everyone looks good in a suit. First day, things went well... everyone was getting to know each other... and he was charming, very gentlemanly.

Come first day of the exhibition, he was barely around but then again I barely noticed because we were all busy preparing for the Prime Minister's visit and all the delegates who kept asking the same questions again and again and again...

Second day of the exhibition, he started to hang out with me.
Then he asks
"Hey have you had brekkie yet?"
"Yeah, I ate before I came over this morning at the hotel... why? Have you not eaten?"
"Yeah I haven't.... I wonder who can I get to go eat with me," and he smiles at me
"If you want me to go with you to eat, just say so...."
"Hahaha you're good. Come let's go eat," and he pulls me by the arm and leads me towards the cafeteria.

After that we took a long walk back to the exhibition hall. He's a good conversationalist. He's politically active which kind of made me realize why he's such a friendly person but I dismissed it. Slightly before lunch, I was cleaning up and had to tie a ribbon to this gift that we were going to present to the King during his visit when he came up and asked me
"Hey, who are you having lunch with?"
"I don't know... it depends really..."
"Okay set. You're having lunch with me,"
"Umm okay..."
"But we have to go in like 5 mins...."
"Dude... it's like only 12.30 and at least let me finish this ribbon thing,"
"Yeah I kinda have to go back to feed my cats cuz one of them is preggers,"

So he drove back to this mini-mart near his place, bought some cat food, drove back to his place to feed his cats while I waited in the car and we had lunch and then he drove us back.

By then everyone was already questioning where the both of us had gone to and why did we take such a long lunch break. Geez.... can't a girl have a nice lunch date with a guy?

Throughout the rest of the exhibition hours, we were laughing and talking non stop and that got me thinking... could this work out? Not that I wanted him to be the one but I haven't had this kind of feeling in a super long time and I wasn't one to push that away.

All of a sudden, 20 minutes before the exhibition closes, he comes up to me and whispers
"Hey give me your resume,"
"My what?"
"Resume... your CV,"
"I don't have it here with me..."
"I know, email it to me... I found you a job in KL," and he looks at me with a smile lighting up his face.
"Really?"
"Yeah.... oh hey you know what, better yet... come..." and he held his hand out to take mine.
"Come? Where are we going?"
"Don't ask. Just come," and he grabs my hand and pulls me over to him and walked off.

Apparently he's not supposed to be doing this because the guys that he is about to introduce me to are his company's competitors. When we got over there, he was highly recommending me to this Director of Sales and Senior Manager and god knows what on earth he had told them earlier that they wanted me to send in my CV as soon as possible.

Then towards the end of the day, he invited me to go watch him play futsal after the exhibition. If you're not too tired, he added. So I told him that I have to go back to shower and change out of my business suit first and he told me he'd wait for me.

I saw his car waiting at the hotel lobby and I walked right up to it and opened the door. The damn thing was shut! Then he looked up and fumbled with his CD holder and quickly unlocked the door and smiled at me. "Wow, you know I didn't recognize you. I actually saw you walking across the lobby but I didn't know it was you... you look good..."

So we went to his futsal match. Saw his co-worker there as well and we had a quick chat and then we left to go back to his place. He made me sit in the hall because his room was in a real mess and he wanted to clean up first. Apparently he didn't want me to sit in the hall for too long just in case his roomies come home and ask a lot of questions yadda3x

So while he showered I busied myself with his computer and books. Then he came in and said
"So what do you want to eat?"
"Dude, you're the one from around here... you tell me... I'm pretty much up for anything,"
"Okay... are you hungry yet then?"
"Not really.... maybe just a tad, why?"
"Your feet still hurting?" while gesturing to my feet cuz the whole day I was complaining about sore feet and a blister
"Yeah they do..."
"Here... gimme your foot," and he grabs a bottle of baby oil and a chair and starts massaging my feet!

Right foot... left foot.... then moved up to my back because he could see that I had tensed shoulders (don't ask me how he knew) and the great part was that... it was JUST a massage... I kinda expected that he would try something but I wanted to wait and see.... and he didn't do anything. Even though we were alone in his room with the door closed.

So after that we went out for a late dinner, he introduced me to his roomies as we exited his apartment

We sat there chatting the night away during dinner and he sent me back to my hotel. The moment I reached for the door to get out from the car, he says "Hey!" as though I had forgotten something and when I turned around, he pointed to his cheek so I gave him a peck on the cheek and he smiled.

I changed into my jammies and crawled into bed. There I was lying down in the dark - thinking, replaying what happened today. Wondering if he's worth it. Wondering why he was so nice to me. Asking myself if he wanted to, would I date him. Then all of a sudden my cell phone rings *dammit I left it on 'Loud'*

Quickly I grab it and whisper "Hello?" I didn't even look at who was the caller...
"Hey... are you asleep?" it was him
"No.... just lying in bed... why?"
"Why aren't you sleeping yet?"
"Well if I were sleeping, why did you wake me up?"
"Nah, just wanted to tell you that I just got home..."
"Oh... okay,"
"Oh and my roomies did think you were Malay... you were right..." (I had told him earlier on that a lot of people have mistaken me for a Malay before and apparently they had grilled him about who I was)

So we chatted for a little while more and then he told me that I should go to sleep and he'll see me in the morning.

Third and final day of the exhibition. It was an uber busy day. I ran upstairs and downstairs (not to the lady's chamber though hahaha) and had barely time to spare at our booth - hence less time to spend hanging out with him. Fortunately and ironically he was busy too so he TOO barely had time to spend at the booth.

My co-worker approached me and told me bluntly that everyone in our exhibition booth thinks that me and him are dating and asked me if it's true or not. Of course I denied that something was going on between the both of us and said that we were just friends. So I texted him "Hey, everyone thinks that we're dating... hahaha" and he replied "Eh? Really? Hahaha did they know that you were out with me last night?"

Then later towards the evening he was rather busy and I overheard him telling some guy that he has a business meeting to go to after work. Then he walks over to me and tells me that he's got something going on tonight, his boss called and he has to go for a meeting and that we can only hang out later - after he's done with his meeting. So I told him I was fine with it and work is work. Besides, I had JUST gotten to know him, I didn't think that he would be at my every beck and call.

So after the exhibition ended... he walked me to my car, helped me with my bags and all and made sure that I had already sat in the driver's seat when he said "Hey..." again. This time, he kissed me on the lips lightly and gave me a hug and said "Bye sayang..."

Later that night when I was at dinner with my co-worker, he calls.
"Hey, watchu up to?"
"Eating dinner.... aren't you supposed to be at some meeting?"
"Yeah I am but I decided to call it off... wanna hang out?"
"Sure but you have to let me finish my food first..."
"Okay I'll wait for you at the hotel lobby then. Text me when you're done eating alright?"

So after that, we go back to his place... watched a movie... and made out a little... which was fine by me. He's not a bad kisser.

Later in the night he drives me back to the hotel and as I reached out to open the car door, he gestures for me and gives me a look. So I reach over and kissed him on the cheek... and he holds my face with his hands and kisses me slightly on the lips and says "Good night sayang,"

And that is it.... do you see the pattern? The same old pattern I go through every single little relationship in the past few years. And you know what's the worst part? I come home and decide to do a little e-stalking and guess what I find out. He's engaged to his girlfriend of at least 3 years.

Good one babygirl... give yourself another pat on the back because ONCE again, you have failed to see all the signs.

Okay you know what, let's rephrase.

You did not fail to see all the signs, you FAILED to acknowledge the signs leading to the big hole in the ground because of your ignorance. You have no one to blame but yourself....

(p/s : I know I'm being a tad harsh on meself but then again, that's the way it goes for being such an optimist and so trusting....)

baby Samuel

I just found out today that my cousin's baby boy who was born on April 7, 2008 had passed away. Baby Samuel was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome which is a rare congenital disease where the left heart is severely undeveloped. I read that there are cases where infants who are successfully treated for this have a good chance of survival though they may experience health problems which are chronic for the rest of their lives....

I guess it's all good... at least baby Samuel didn't have to suffer (because during his stay in the hospital he had no breathing difficulties and wasn't showing any signs of stress).

And he's now sitting up there in the clouds with Great Grandpa, Great Grandma, Grand Uncle West and Grand Aunt Mary... and god knows how spoilt he will be with the older generations with him!

My heart goes out to my cousin and his wife, little Emily and their immediate families for their loss... I can't even begin to imagine what Chun must be going through right now, having to go through what she's gone through...

Requiescat in pace, Samuel

i miss sayang :(

I miss my furball of a temperamental dutch lop bunny.... he died last year.... of what I can kind of believe is a stroke because the vets weren't too sure but since he was half paralyzed... I'm guessing that it was a stroke.... :'(
Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to have a white bunny for a pet... but mum never let me. Dogs, yes... guinea pigs, yes... bunnies... no.

Until the year I was 18, my cousin had bought his wife (then girlfriend) a little brown dutch lop bunny for Christmas. It was so adorable I fell in love with her immediately and then I looked at mum. *cha ching!!!* there you have it... that's how I got my bunny. Both Fondue (that's the bunny's name) and I looked at mum with pleading sad brown bunny eyes and the cute little sniffly nose, promising that I would clean up after the furball and the furball will create as minimal mess as a bunny could ever possibly do... mum nodded and I raced out to the pet store with my cousin.

Thumper bunny, was the first name that crossed my mine for a male rabbit. He was such an adorable little thing. He has a little bit of an ear defect when I got him though, but the store owner told me that all I had to do was to slowly stroke his ears daily the way it's supposed to look and his ears would fall naturally after a bit. I bought Thumper bunny a cage... with a water bottle and a food bowl... then I bought him pellets and treats.

I was the happiest person alive that day.... I had my own little bunny wabbit....

Years went by.... Thumper bunny's name changed to a diverse variety of whatever that ran through my mind. Usagi-chan, bun bun, brown ball, dutchie, and of course... Sayang.

He had his own room (yes you read right... he has his own room in my house, and no I don't mean a cage, I mean a room with four walls, a door, a ceiling fan and lights) and every morning when mum opened his room door, he'd run straight to mine and start scratching it to wake me up.

Then during dinner time EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... he'd be sitting either at my feet or beside my chair... waiting for me to finish and give him some fruit... or bread... or some treats... and if I didn't... he would stand on his hind legs and stare at me with his big beady eyes and sniffle as though he smells something wonderfully delicious.
I remember the year I left for my studies. I was so worried that he might go off before I come back. I really was....
The moment I got back home after being away for one year, was to rush in and yell "Sayang!!!" and there he came... galloping across the dining hall floor and drifting into the hall (the floors are marble and well, he's got a lot of fur on the underside of his paws). I scooped him up and hugged him and I kept muttering "I'm so glad you're still here... I'm so glad you're still here..." then I hear "Umm... excuse me... what about me?" and then I realized that I hadn't hugged my mom yet :P
Years went by and my Sayang was famous.... all my friends wanted to meet my rabbit. I know, I know, it sounds far fetched but then it was true. Not a lot of people I knew had rabbits... come to think of it, it was only me and my best friend.... yeah hers was Rocky... naughty little fella...

He used to have this thing, that when he naps... he'll nap on his side... and the first time I saw him nap that way... I freaked out because I thought he had died....
Last year I was just telling mum "Wow imagine... bun is already 8 human years old... that's gotta mean that in bunny years... he's ancient!"

Then it happened. You know bombs like these always drop on you when you least expect it.

One Sunday morning, mum came into my room asking me to wake up because she couldn't find Sayang in his room. Then I remembered he had a new sleeping place... he would hide into a small cranny and just sleep there with all his dust bunnies.... then after 5 mins, mum came into my room again saying that she still can't find him.

So I got up... walked into his room and searched all the corners and all the nooks... and then I saw him lying under the computer table with his back against the wall. So I called for him. He didn't move. I called again. Still no movement. We had quite some boxes around the area so I couldn't just reach in. So I stuck my toes between and wiggled them at his bum. He didn't move either. Panic crept all over me. "No wait, he's still warm and soft...."

So we managed to get him out after a bit... but then I could see that there was something terribly wrong about him. He was kind of bent in an unnatural way. His head was tilted... his eye was all crusty and he was kind of limp. Then when I set him down on the floor... he tried so hard to stand... but he couldn't.

We took him to the vet and the vet said that he had probably snuck into the corner and got stuck... and tried to struggle to break free but ended up tensing up his muslces and they spasmed.... it's probably just a sprain, just massage his muscles slowly and regularly and he'll be fine.
One week went by.... no improvement... he could barely stand but had a ravenous appetite... which I thought was a good sign.

Then I knew what I had to do. Sayang could barely lift his head, let alone stand.... he couldn't walk to his usual spot to pee so I'd sometimes find him in a puddle of pee.... then I knew, I knew that I had to end his pain.

That weekend I took him to his regular vet (who unfortunately was closed the day of his 'stroke') and he smiled as I walked in with Sayang wrapped in his towel in my arms and asked "So... how can I help you today?" then he put his hands on his hips and shook his head "What did he do now?"

"It's not good..." I told him. Then I walked into the consultation room, unwrapped Sayang and told the vet the entire story.

"Well...." the vet has been Sayang's doctor since day one.... even he couldn't mouth the words to me.

"If it's time then... okay...." I told him. Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew no matter what happened, I had to put Sayang to sleep. I wanted to hold him during the entire thing because I didn't want him to feel that he was alone. But I couldn't. And also because the vet told me that it's best not to.

He showed me the door and said "This will take a short while okay? Just wait for me here, I'll call you when it's done,"

I broke down and cried outside the room. Ten minutes later the vet came out and told me that I could go in and see him now.

There he was.... lying on top of his towel in a box as though he was sleeping. He looked so normal.

Mum and I took him home... and buried him in a corner of the garden and he is now known as the Keeper of the Garden....

That was August 2007. Up till now, I cannot walk into the bunny section in a pet store, eat mango or retell this story without crying...

I miss my widdle bunny wabbit so so much........

how do they know?

Someone sent me an email photo story about dissecting a croc who apparently had devoured someone....

It was pretty gross... they had the croc tied and flipped belly up... and I have no idea if they had killed it first or just slit its belly open while it was alive... and on the inside, they pulled out two arms (fingers all the way up to the shoulders) and two legs (toes up to the thighs) and there was a head peeking inside the intestines.

Ugly sight... sad sight... but also interesting at the same time.........

But what makes me really curious is that... how do they know?

How do they know that it was THAT croc? Did they catch and cut up a few large crocs to find out? Did they stick around to find out which croc wasn't hunting (therefore would seem suspicious cuz they don't do any hunting which would of course take a long time since crocs are cold-blooded and therefore have slow metabolism rates enabling them to go without food for an uber long time)? I don't think there would be only ONE croc in the river because they're not that all solitary creatures and I'm pretty sure they didn't tag the poor soul who was devoured....

Cuz as far as I remember, crocs like to drag their victims and drown them... and the occasional 'death roll' if it's too chunky/large for them.... and most of the accidents like these... are reported as attacks... and not swallowed.... where the victims are mostly maimed... and mauled....

Okay you know what this is getting icky and depressing and just plain yeurrghhhh... I'll stop now....

changing names part II

I was reading my morning paper during brekkie at the hotel today.... parents these days are radically changing names of their kids.... like shortening it... or adding an apostrophe... or spellling it phonetically... I'm telling you it's crazy!

It's like they're all becoming black rappers or something you know. Like from Cameron to Cam'ron, Anne to An... the list goes on.

But you know what hits the most? This kid... no wait, his parents.... were really estatic to see an ultrasound of their baby for the first time realized that they were really have a kid for real... which is of course great.... they decided to name the kid 4Real with the argument that if there are names with numbers at the end (like John Smith III), why can't a name start with a number instead. So of course the authorities rejected it with the reason that there's a ruling that states that a name CANNOT start with a number, the parents had no choice but to revert to their second choice - Superman.

Superman. Wow.... Superman Smith.... HAHAHAHA can you imagine what his siblings names could be? Spiderman, Wonderwoman, Supergirl, Cyclops.... OH MY DEAR LORDY! Apparently now the parents are considering taking legal action to the authorities to reverse that ruling.

Which reminds me, I was out with a friend the other night and we were talking about names and he wants to name his kid Shadow....

That I'm telling you... is bleeping laugh out loud.... Shadow.... might as well name a kid Plastic... or even better still Polymer, Polyvinyl, Polyethylene and Polymethyl :P

munching out

I miss hanging out at Maria's Cafe (Greentown)

Maria's Cafe is run by one of my closest friend's family and I'm telling you... the food is goooooddd.... and the countless hours that Aunty Maria has fed me with good food till I have no choice but to undo the top button of my jeans.... bangers and mash... rib eye... potato and leek soup with the little artsy fartsy thing on top... roast lamb... warm chocolate cake... carrot cake... pastries + afternoon tea ohhh and the list goes on...

I know, I know, you're probably thinking "Yeah it's her friend's place, of course she's promoting it," well you're damn right I am...

You know what makes me like a place? A restaurant to be exact?

Well I'm pretty picky. Especially about restaurants/cafes and fine dining kind of mumbo jumbo. Because there are plenty of places that people go to - to be seen. It's so cool to be seen hanging out at Posh Cafe. I feel so posh now. Ooohhhh.... oh posh schmosh. I can't be bothered. I live to eat and not eat to live... I think people who eat to live are somewhat depressing... and that everyone should be able to... and ALSO want to enjoy what they're eating... rather than just stuffing it down their throats so that they don't feel any hunger pangs... hahaha that's ridiculous... oh god I'm laughing at my own joke now....

I know this restaurant in Ipoh where EVERYBODY loves to go there to be seen schmoozing with poshness.

I've got four words for you people "HAHAHA, you'd think so!"

Every now and then, I"ll get someone who wants to go there just to have a cup of coffee... which by the way is pretty alright.. but then to drive all the way out there at night after a home cooked meal JUST FOR A CUP OF COFFEE... or is it JUST TO BE SEEN? But I guess to some people it matters.... shallow isn't it?

Going out for food means getting what you want out of a great dining experience and I want good food. Period. End of sentence.

You wanna know why? If the food is good, ambiance is cozy, decor is warm and the people are just fantastically well-mannered... voila! You have your perfect dining experience. Well for restaurants/cafes for that matter.

Maria's is the kind of place that I can literally sit there ALL day long... well partly because my friend's mum runs the place but that's besides the point. It's comfy... it's got great food and munchies to fill you up... illy coffee and it's WiFi enabled!!!! Ahhh I'd die for one of those afternoon tea pastries with a nice steaming hot cup of italian coffee right now....

Maria's Cafe recently opened up a second branch in Damansara Perdana... Aunty Maria and Mary are no longer in the Greentown outlet... *boo hoo* but heck... I still go there (not as often as I used to though) for lunch sometimes because to tell you the truth... the food is effing good.

Anyhoo... I'll continue rambling and rambling so I need to stop now... there's a link to the blog on the right column on my page so check it out... better yet... just swing by the cafe and munch... munch till you drop!

changing names

Very often people don't like the names they were given. In fact I know some people who detest their own names.

When I was younger, I didn't like my name... mainly because 8 out of 10 people I meet will never know how to pronounce my name. I mean, if I write it down on a piece of paper and thrust it in your hands and force you to pronounce my name, fine. Earlier this month, I met this girl... who had difficulty pronouncing my name even after I repeated myself three times.... THREE effing TIMES!!!

How hard is it to pronounce Claire? It rhymes with bleh.... or care... or blare.... or where... or chocolate e-clair (okay e-clair a little far fetched but you know what I mean)!

I disliked my name so much, that I contemplated changing it to something... more common when I finally turn 18... like... Elizabeth... or Amy.... or Christine... or maybe even Anne.

Anyways, people have found difficulty in pronouncing my name in the Eastern world not the Western, which reminds me of an article I read in the newsies some time ago about locals who had difficulties with immigrants who had cultural names.

Cultural names are beautiful. Especially when it is painstakingly researched by various members of the family who only wants the best for the newborn child. One of my youngest cousin sister's name was partly chosen by my mother, because she was born on a Wednesday and her Chinese name meant "Coloring of the Dawning Clouds"... so mom named her Wendy.... which of course she doesn't really it but unfortunately has to live with it :P

Unfortunately, when these names come across to the Western world.... they are often misconstrued... mispronounced... misunderstood...

So because of that, the world is slowly ridding itself of meaningful cultural names... and we have more Kevins, Michelles, Jasmines, Andrews, Michaels... you get the picture.

By the way, it's not just non-caucasians who are having this problem. Apparently many Brits who don't like their own names, have switched as well.

Last year, Joel Whittle changed his name. He is now known as Big Crazy Lester (this was taken from Reuters).

You know what? I love my name. I love the fact that my mom took forever to choose which would be the best name for me. I love it that my grandfather painstakingly chose my name over 6-7 choices ever since mom was preggers.

I love it that my name is one of a kind.

I just don't really like sharing it with people because it takes FOREVER to explain my name to them :P

growing old sucks

Yeah you heard me right. Growing old sucks, big time.

I just turned 26 a couple of days ago and I'm telling you... the older you get the more you think. I remember turning 16... gosh was I happy. "Yay, I'm older!!!Yay I'm no longer a kid!!! Yay, I have more responsibilities!!!"

Now, it's "Blehhh, I'm older.... I have more responsibilities.... and more crap to deal with..."

So for CNY, I did spend it with McStupid. We had a nice 24hours together. From 8.30am on the 3rd day of CNY all the way till 8-ish in the morning on the 4th day of CNY. Then... lucky for me, as I was lying in bed watching him sleep at about 6 in the morning, I realized three things.

a) He's not as cute as I remembered him to be.... when I saw him that morning, I had lost the whole 'pounding heart, loss of breath, oh my effing lord he's so bloody cute... zilch. It was just 'Hey, it's McStupid... gee that shirt is red...'

b) He's almost 30... well he's turning 30 next year and he doesn't bloody have any ambition let alone a career. All he wants to do is have fun. I mean, yeah I want to have fun too but I'm not going to just work to have fun. Maybe it's the whole pressure from society - get a job, climb the career ladder, be matured kinda shit. Maybe 8 years ago, I would do it... the whole work just for money so that I can go enjoy life and all. I guess I really am getting old.

c) He's not THE ONE. I thought he was. Or at least I was desperate enough to want to believe that he was. He came at the right timing. I had a new job, I had new friends, I had everything new... and he popped into my life. But I finally learnt that he's not. He's nowhere near being THE ONE.

So as I left (yeah I know this sounds drama-mama) but when I said "Anata, sayonara..." I really felt that I was really saying good bye to him, because at that point, I realized that it doesn't matter to me anymore if I see him again or not. I realized that I've had my fun and that it's over.
He was a season. Can't change that fact that he broke my heart. But I thank him for that. In fact, I thank all broken relationships for broken hearts because it is what's broken which I have mended makes me who I am. The person I am now... has been broken, picked up, dusted off and glued back together. Well, replaced, if not glued :P

Winds have changed. Times have changed. He has changed and so have I. It's over... it's soooo over. Thank god for that!

But heck... it was a shit load of fun while it lasted ;)

how many?

My little nephew Jorge's new phrase these days is "How many?" followed by "1... 2... 4....8!!!" and that's it. He's so adorable and he's such a sweetheart.

Which brings me to my point. How many times more will I be suckered into his sweet nothings? For those who have read my multiply blogs will probably be able to guess who I'm talking about. I met this dude in late April last year... it's February now... 2 months short of one year and I still get suckered into his sweet nothings...

How many times more?

He's very random. He'll text me out of the blue with the usual "I miss you honey," or "hey hey sweetie, watchu up to?" and it goes on for a couple of texts and it'll last a few days and then it's cold turkey.

We've been text flirting since last Saturday non-stop. He told me he'll be back these couple of days and tells me he wants to meet up... he misses me a lot... yadda 3x

Then today he calls me up

"Hun... where are you? Wanna hang out later?"
"You really don't listen to a word I say do you...."
"Huh? What?"
"I already told you I won't be home these couple of days. I'll be back at my grandfather's house for a couple of days,"
"Oh.... when are you coming back then? Oh btw, Gong Hei Fatt Choy,"
"I'll be back in 2 days time and Gong Hei Fatt Choy to you too. When will I be getting me red packet?"
"You? Getting? Aren't we supposed to be giving out them together instead?"
"Hahaha yeah right,"
"Next year... we'll give them out together,"
"Yeah right,"

Convo goes on and on for a bit. He wants me to call him when I reach home and he'll come over to hang with me for 2 days. When I ask "What about your family? Don't you have to spend time with them?" "Well, I wanna hang with you, but if you don't want to then fine... I understand... it's okay," with the sad puppy dog voice over the phone....

I'm telling you... I bow to his every single little command. I'm not surprised that I'll be having mood swings when I get home and when things don't go as "we" plan...

Pee

So it's a disgusting title for a blog... sue me :P

Just wanted to add in that I was in Penang a couple of days ago and I saw a couple of cars with the registration PEE

HAHAHAHA

Pee....

Next thing you know, POO will happen

it's no wonder no one likes mondays... seriously

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain pit-pat-pit-pattering outside my window and the first thing that ran through my mind was "Oh crap... it's Monday again," Then I thought, okay, let's snap out of this shit and be positive for once. It is a new year for crying out loud. So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed towards the shower.

Poppy seed bun. That was my breakfast. Mmmm.... munch munch. Yes I eat and drive at the same time. I'm a dangerous driver. I tend to multi task when I drive such as - eat, drink, take my coat off, take photos, the list goes on.

I like the journey to work. I like the commute. Well mainly cuz my commute is only 10 mins to work. HAHAHA and I'm talking about from just exit to exit on the PLUS highway. Driving up north is nice. Lots of greenery, mountains and because of the rain, the mountain range was draped in a heavy cloud of mist.


Then...... the damn traffic jam started. Wtf man... there usually is NO jam at all but this was totally bumper to bumper. I looked at my watch - 8.15am. Geez. I had JUST gotten on the highway.



Fifteen minutes have passed and I called up the office. Apparently the jam is caused by an accident (my office overlooks the highway). No way... the last time a tanker over turned near my office's exit and that jam was half the length of this one. Saw a car which had pulled up. Probably overheated I guess... hahaha


Then after another half an hour or so, I saw it... it was a six car pile up. Geez people... be more careful and considerate on the freaking highway! This ain't no playground.

*zooommmm* the babygirl sped off after the accident scene. No I didn't stop to take a look at the registration numbers (oh which btw, I was in Penang yesterday and they have car registration plates - PEE hahaha) and no, I didn't stop to take pictures of the accident...

Half a minute passes and geez there's another frickin jam! Totally wtf.... I mean, seriously? Two jams in the same bloody stretch.

Long story cut short....

Truck over turned, blocked one lane of the highway.


Took me 75 minutes to get to the damn office.

Bloody inconsiderate bugger frickin parks in my underground parking spot.

Seriously...?

Mondays my @$$.... I am such a pessimist right now...

kuih kablooiieee

So today mum and I felt like Chinese New Year biscuit making. Back then when I was younger, grandma had the secret recipe... the age old yummy yummy recipes for all these cookies. All we did was to help out during the moulding process. No one was allowed to help with the batter. Somehow someway mum managed to worm it out from her a couple of years before grandma passed on. But grandma equipped us with the skills on how to make the perfect love letter, honeycomb and kuih bangket - just not the recipe.


Years after grandma passed on, mum and I would sit down one day and just make love letters. Not the truck load we used to make when grandma was around (we used to make enough to give out to neighbors and my aunts and uncles) all in the spirit of Chinese New Year. This year is no exception.

Mum concocted the batter, I started the fire and heated up the love letter moulds. Fire was burning nicely. Batter was tasty.


But somehow, something was not right. Normally it takes about... I don't know... about 5 mins to get one love letter done. This time, it took us half an hour to get one. And I'm not saying TRYING to make one after having a few failures, it was literally one. It took forever to brown.

After two, mum and I decided to pack up and make honeycombs instead. So she packed up and I sat there manning the burning charcoal stove hoping and wishing the remaining three wouldn't take too long.

5 mins after mum stepped in the house... *KABLLOOIIIEEEE* (yeah I know, explosions don't go kablooie but it sounds way better than kaboom)

Ash... charcoal... debris... the grill... and all the loveletter moulds went flying in the air...

One piece of burning charcoal fell conveniently on my left calf and burnt me skin. I now have a burn scar the size of a dime...


and the front porch... has a hole....


What a day....... geezzz

Although, I have to say that I am uber glad that even though it blew up right in front of me... nothing really bad happened to me... I'm counting my lucky stars ;)

car registrations

Okay so I know I'm not supposed to be doing this at work... I'm actually supposed to be preparing a press release but what the heck.

Today's random thought (oh well it was actually a few days ago, so sue me :P) is about car registration numbers. Since Perak's starts with the letter A... it made me think... what will happen when it finally reaches AS*. Will the government allow a registration ASS? Will they allow it? Or will they skip it?

I mean if you think about it, it doesn't necessarily mean the derrière (those who used to read Enid Blyton would probably remember the kids from Secret Seven or Famous Five calling each other asses)

Some more food for thought...

WTF, PIG, NUT, KID, JUG, BRA, POO, BUM, COW, LIE, SEX and the list goes on...

p/s : TL, the pandora's box is officially open hahaha cheers mate!