the big bad burger

I remember reading this on www.ninemsn.com.au earlier and I have to say... I have a weak spot for bacon. I really do. And with all the bad publicity that's being done on this burger, it's only generating more curiosity and interest into actually TRYING the burger to see how 'bad' it really is.

It all makes me wonder if it is just a marketing strategy. You know like tempting you with something that's really bad but you know you want it. I'm pretty sure it'll taste awesome, I mean come on! We're talking about 4 layers of beef patty, bacon and cheese in a bun! How bad tasting can it get???

I know I want it. Talked to a friend about it and one weekend, we are going to recreate the burger. No we're not going to make it from scratch. We'll just buy regular burgers and get some bacon and cheese to make up for what Hungry Jacks doesn't sell in Malaysia.

Rush on for massive 'bad burger'

14:00 AEST Wed Sep 3 2008

7 days 19 hours 30 minutes ago

Hungry Jack's Quad Burger has an astounding 1000 calories.

By Phil Han, ninemsn

A cross section of what awaits anyone who tries the Quad Burger.

---

Negative publicity from health experts about a "monstrous" four-patty burger has apparently only fuelled demand for the 4520Kj snack, which has gone on sale in Australia this week.

"I thought I would give it a try – after reading about how many calories and how much fat it had in it," one man told ninemsn as he stood in a fast-food queue.

INSIDE LOOK: What it was really like trying to eat the Quad Burger

Health experts have roundly criticised the new Quad Burger from Hungry Jacks, which comes with four beef patties, four slices of cheese, two rashers of bacon, barbecue sauce, and two buns. It has no lettuce or vegetables.

The burger has more than 70g of fat and over 4520Kj (1000 calories) – half the daily recommended calorie intake for a woman and nearly one-third for a man.

"That's just not right man, that's quite a lot and it's just real fat," Ed Whitlam, senior fitness coach at Living Well Health Club told ninemsn.

"1,000 calories is huge, it's massive," he said.

"As an example, an athletic person would need to run at a fast pace for four hours to burn off the calories".

Health experts warn that eating even one of the burgers could have immediate health effects.

"You would feel lethargic, you wouldn't sleep well, it'll stay in your gut because it's just too much for your system to handle," Mr Whitlam said.

"It'll just clog you up and you'll feel bloated and it would completely disturb your entire digestive system."

The Cancer Council says it is appalled by the decision to sell the hamburger.

"Given that Australia is currently battling with a rising tide of overweight people and obesity, it is irresponsible and disturbing for Hungry Jacks to promote such an unhealthy burger", a Cancer Council spokesperson told ninemsn.

The burger sells for $5.95 and has just started being promoted on television.

In addition to its high fat and sugar levels, the burger has more than 1,900 milligrams of sodium.

working things out

I have been on an emotional roller coaster (as most of you would have read in my earlier blogs) and every time I wanted to talk to Andy, the timing was never right.

Len and Jasmine kept telling me that "If you don't say anything now, you'll never do it. You're a procrastinator and you let him get his way too often. Say it now or never," They were right. I AM a procrastinator and I always let him get his way. I put him and his needs before mine all the time.

It was Thursday (my time) and I knew that he would be coming back to Denver from Boston on Thursday (his time, which would mean Friday morning my time). I dreaded Friday morning. In fact I dreaded Friday itself. I knew if I didn't talk to him, I would explode sooner or later. I knew if I talked to him, I would also explode. Either way I was gonna blow up :P

I woke up on Friday morning only to see an orange thing blinking on my screen. I wondered who IMed me at that time. I took my glasses off my side table to see who it was. *blink blink* it was him. Almost immediately I sat up and clicked on it "I wanna see you more," was the message. Nothing more, nothing less.

What did that mean? I kept thinking as I got ready for work. My usual routine has become mind-numbingly bored but it kept me going. It was like a robotic routine programmed into my mind to get ready and to drive to work every day.

When I got to work, as usual I would place my bag in it's usual spot, log onto my work computer and then log on to my messengers and email accounts (I have four email accounts which I have to log into and check every morning, yes I'm a freak).

Then I saw that he was online. I IMed him. Welcome back, I said. He thanked me and I asked him how was his trip. It was tiring, did you get my message he asked. I smiled to myself. Maybe he's serious this time. I replied yes and placed a smiley next to it.

Then he said the words I have wanted to hear for a very long time "Lets work on this, I was in the airport and on airplanes and kind of reliving moments I had with you and I realized, I wanted more,"

I laughed. I was so relieved. At least I knew I wasn't going crazy for no reason.

The rest of the conversation had a lot of mushy details which I will spare you from. Bottom line is, we're gonna work it out.... but it will take time because it's either he's moving over or I'm moving over. We haven't worked the details out but we're exploring all the options we have.

In the mean time, I really have to save up for a ticket!!!

Chiam See No 8

I have this thing, that whenever I go to Penang to visit my grandparents, I have to go get my fortune from this spinning wheel thingie at the Chaiya Mangkalaram Buddhist Temple in Burmah Lane. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and will probably continue to doing it. I guess it's more of like a ritual thing for me.

What I love about this fortune thingie is that, the fortune reads in four languages - English, Mandarin, Malay (olden Malay to be exact) and Thai.

This time during a family reunion in Penang, as usual I visited my grandparents and had a go. This is my fortune.

"YOU who get this No 8 are however, not good for everything. Your present condition is like a big-tree receiving no wind and rain and its main roots have entirely been cut off. It is better if you are able to remove your present residence to some other place. Your property which had beenl ost can hardly be found. You have very little hope in love affairs. In case of prosecution, you will perhaps be the loser. Your aim for other things is rather poor."

Not exactly the best of all... but still... you take life as it comes and make the best out of it :)

deja vu

Had to go down to KL for work stuff today. I was dreading it the whole time because it was going to be at the Mandarin Oriental KLCC. And of course this is again about Andy.

I'm the kind of person who holds on to every little thing in a relationship that has passed and I will savor it slowly (in a way). I guess to me it's like, if I hold on to it, it will happen again. Somehow I just stop living and pause my world and make it revolve around just that bit.

I had flashbacks on the way there. I remember how I felt as I was feeling as I passed by the trees and the mountain range. I remember when I received his text telling me that he had just boarded his train and he'll see me in a couple of hours time and that he needs to shave, he's tired and he's just had the second worst hotel room. I remember bursting out in laughter and relief about that. I remember showing Len his text and she said "What's wrong with the man?"

When I got to KL, I thought, okay let's just not stop living, let's just go on. I'm only going to the hotel for a forum. I'm not going shopping. I can do this. Or so I told myself.

After the forum, I went over to Starbucks (can't live without my coffee unfortunately), which was pretty much not the best choice I made the entire day.

Up to the point where I reached the hotel all the way till I walked over to Starbucks, I was doing fine...

Until I saw KLCC park and I saw the spot where we sat down to talk and laugh and take photos like amazed tourists.

Then everything came rushing back to me.

What he said. What he wore. What he took pix of. What he wanted to do. What we looked at. What we talked about.

"Here's your mocha, miss" the barrista said which helped snap me out of my day dream. Then I walked back to the hotel because my driver was waiting for me there.

Snap snap snap out of it, I told myself. It's not like he's dead. It's not like we can't work this out, we just need to get the timing right to talk right now. That's all... you're making a mountain out of a molehill, I told myself. Which is true, I always make a mountain out of a molehill.

So I snapped out of it. Or at least I thought I did, until I saw the bus that I took home from the airport. It was right in front of us on the highway on the northbound route like us.

I hate this. I really do. I wanna move on. Unfortunately something somewhere is holding on to it. And if I hold on, I'm never gonna move on.............

flashbacks - part II

Two weeks ago, I woke up at 7-ish in the morning on a Monday with the feeling of impending doom. "He's going home today..." was the first thing that ran through my mind. I turned over to look at him. His back was facing me and I could see his chest rise and fall with each breath he took.

I closed my eyes, curled up in a ball and tried to block out reality.

These flashbacks come back to me very often. It makes it in a way harder to get on... but in a way makes me happy because I'm re-living moments with him.

"I'm on my way to Boston," was what he said to me yesterday night before I slept.
"Why are you going to Boston?"
"Business, I told you.... remember?" then it hit me, he had told me about his Boston trip earlier.
"Yeah, slipped my mind... sorry,"

So we talked for a bit more until he had to leave. Then it hit me... why is he telling me all these? Like when he reached HK or when he was in Tokyo leaving for home, he would IM me and let me know.

We've decided not to be together..... so is he updating me like this? Ahhh he confuses me so much.... bleh

time will heal this...

Chris sent me this last night when we were talking. (Thanks for your patience, you rock!)

I'm on an emotional roller coaster, I told him. I really don't really know how to deal with this. One day I'm fine, one day I'm all depressed and the next day I have another sudden realization and I'm fine again. The cycle never stops and it's beginning to really annoy me.

Sometimes I wish I could just tell him about the shit that I'm going through right now but then I think that it's really got nothing to do with him now. It's something that I have to deal on my own. I have to fight my own fires now without depending on him for support.

I wanna be okay again. I know it takes time. If the saying that it takes half the time of being with the person to get over the person is true, I have 3 1/2 years more to go.

It's so annoying now that I can barely hold my food down because I rarely have an appetite but I have to eat else everyone else will start asking "Why what's wrong?" and the emotional ride will start all over again. So I end up eating more than I actually can and my body throws it back out after a bit. Then if not eating well isn't good, I don't sleep too well either.

I'm going through extremes to prove I'm fine without him - being Mary Sunshine 24/7. But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind....

Everyone tells me "Oh just find someone else. I wish I could and I wish it was that easy. It's like throwing myself out there and getting someone to replace my mom, my best friend or my left arm for that matter.

I don't know what song this is from but as I read through it, I realize that what it says is true.

That he means a helluva lot to me, but time will heal me, I will love again and no matter how hard it is to be without him, I'll be okay.

p/s : I know sometimes I talk about it like he's dead or something, he's not, but it's just that I have to live my life without him now - for real.

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'ma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

flashbacks

As if I'm not feeling the worst I have felt in years, flashbacks keep coming back to me and every time I allow myself to re-live a moment, emotions rush through me...

Last week, I woke Andy up at 10am for no apparent reason - except that I was bored. In actual fact I was already up at 7am but couldn't go back to sleep because I was so excited about everything. It's not that I wanted to go anywhere. I was fine just being in his presence. I could just stay all day staring at him.

We went for breakfast (actually it was more of brunch than breakfast but since it was the first meal of the day...) and then after that we went traipsing around KL. Took him to the Central Market and Petaling Street as well as Suria KLCC.

We chilled out till 4pm and then decided to go back to the hotel cuz he wanted to swim in the pool. I had no suit. I kept smacking myself on the head for NOT packing a suit. I always pack a suit everywhere I go just in case I go swimming and this time, I left it out. OF ALL TIMES *sigh* so we tried to do a spot of shopping around for a new suit.

I hate buying something because I have to. I'm a very picky shopper and at times I'm like a guy. I know what I want, I go straight for it and can spend less than 5 mins in a store. I always have a rough idea of what I want and where I can get it from so my usual shopping sprees will take about 10 mins in each store unless if they're having some clearance sale so then... what can I say, I AM female after all.

It's no surprise that I didn't get anything. I should've just worn my GAP top and my undies and joined him in the pool. Instead I dipped my feet in and walked around. He wasn't swimming too much himself. He was mostly standing in one spot doing imaginary exercise moves talking to me.

We finally went back to the room and it was 9.30pm. So we decided that we should go out for food because if we stayed in, we'd be too lazy to go out when we're actually hungry later on and he had spotted a Mexican restaurant about 2 blocks down the road and he wanted enchiladas.

Right about now last week, we were sitting at the bar having his second Weihenstephen and he was telling me all about his trip to Jamaica earlier this year for Jeremy's wedding and that we should always 'respect the Dawg' and what Dr Feelgood would do for him all in the name of cash.

I miss my Andy...

The Bergdorf Blondes vs p.s I Love You

Remember earlier when I wanted to reinject romance into my life and I bought Cecelia Ahern's p.s I Love You? (Wow somehow that reminds me of this book by Will Bullas that Andy got for me for Christmas one year).

Anyways, I didn't find that book that much of a tear jerker (Cecelia Ahern, not Will Bullas) as compared to others whom I know who have read the book. It was touching in the first two chapters but after that it got predictable for me so I just put it down. It's been sitting on my study table ever since.

Yesterday while I went to the mall to run a few errands, I saw the book - Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes.

Now, don't get me wrong but I love pretty looking books. You know how they say you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover? I do that a lot. I have a weakness for hardcover books. I have a few copies of Anne Rice's books in hard cover and paperback - the hardcover is mostly for collection purposes but I have read ALL the Anne Rice books that I've bought.

Anyhoo, this book, is really girly and much easier reading for me. I've easily gone through five chapters today and I probably will finish the book before I sleep tonight AND have a great time. But it also depends cuz I am rather sleepy. Went out for drinks last night and there was a blackout in my area this morning for about 3 hours, as it it wasn't bad enough that I had a hangover, there was no fan or a/c at all... bleh....

Okey dokes, gotta go. Talk to you soon

Regret is a big fat bitch kicking you in the arse

There are many things I regret not doing when he was around.

1) I regret not jumping into the pool at the hotel with him even though I didn't bring a suit. I could have just worn one of my strappy tops and my low rise undies (which btw does look very bikini bottom like)
2) I regret not asking if I'll ever see him again
3) I regret not snuggling up to him when I woke up in the middle of the night and realizing that I had moved over to my side.
4) I regret not taking enough photographs of us
5) I regret not kissing him at the train station
6) I regret not asking him to stay earlier
7) I regret not asking him to take him with me
8) I regret not telling him that I love him
9) I regret not asking him about the past or the future

I think I never did all these things because I was afraid. I knew that if I told him that I loved him, I would expect him to say it in return and I didn't want him to say it because I said it.

I was afraid that if he said it because I said it, it wouldn't be real.

I was afraid that if I said it and he didn't say it in return I would be heartbroken.

I was afraid that if I took a million pictures of us together I would have a hell of a time trying to get over this.

I was afraid that if I asked him about the past of the future, I would be disappointed.

I was afraid of so many things. I was so afraid that I didn't do anything. I never jumped at the opportunity to do so many things with him around.

Now I have to live with regret, not knowing what would happen if I did tell him I loved him. I will never know how he really feels.

Breakdown

I am such a wreck. I've been crying so much since he left that my eyes are swollen. I miss Andy :(

On the way home from KLIA, the scene right before we parted kept playing in my mind. Then Mag called, and I called Len to tell her that I was on my way back and tears kept flowing because I was always reminded of the way he held me in his arms right before we parted.

Mornings are tough. I woke up yesterday and I cried. I cried because I didn't wake up next to him anymore.

I cried because I couldn't hear his constant breathing.

I cried because there was no smell of him next to me.

I cried because there was no more Andy.

Nights are tough too. Right before I slept, I looked around and I was in my own bed. I wasn't going to have to climb in under the sheets while he's still watching telly, turn off the little light on the side dresser, or move over to kiss him goodnight and drift off to sleep in his arms.

I was alone on my bed.

Even music makes me burst. I was driving out for lunch with Len yesterday and a song came on the radio and I burst out crying.....

This morning, I dreamt a little bit of him and I woke up to reality in my own room. No Andy next to me. Reality bites.... it really jumps up and bites you hard in the butt.

My heart feels.... like it's in pieces and scattered all over.

I think I'm having a break down but I'm trying not to let it get to me.....

Mariah Carey ft Bone Thugs and Harmony - Breakdown

(Layzie Bone)
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over, over
Don't break down yet it's over

(Krayzie Bone)
Steady breaking me on down
break, breakdown
Steady breaking me on down
break, breakdown
Steady breaking me on down

[Mariah Carey]
You called yesterday
To basically say
That you care for me but
That you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be
Feeling similarly
And led you to believe
I was ok to just walk away from the
One thing that's unyielding and sacred to me

[Chorus: sung by Mariah Carey; Krayzie Bone singing 1 in background]
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm
Slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I breakdown and cry

[Mariah Carey]
So what do you do when
Somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And sing "I Will Survive"
(Krayzie Bone in background: Gotta get control and roll roll roll on)
Do you lash out and say
How dare you leave this way
Do you hold in vain
As they just slip away

[Chorus]

[Wish Bone]
Gonna break you down, down, down, only if you let it (Don't let it)
Everyday crazy situations rocking my mind trying to break me down
But I won't let it forget it
If you feel the same way that I do
Then let me hear y'all all sing too
Sing, it's al-right, it's alright, it's alright yeah
Hoping for the sun, but it looks like rain
B-O-N-E, but it's still the same
Came this far, but it's been a long road
Troubles gonna come but we gotta stay strong, hold on, on

[Krayzie Bone]
Aw, yeah, I often feel the pressures, y'all
But nevertheless Krayzie won't fall
It's over, it's ending here, here
I said it's over. It's ending here, here
So I'll be on my way
And maybe we can meet up in the future one day
But for now I'm bailing, bailing
Bailing! baby gotta get up, can't take no more
I'm headed for the door
Come and take a look into this humble eye
Tell me if we lived a lie
Would our souls unite

[Layzie Bone]
Every new day is a test for me
So I just pray to the Lord for him to bless me, please
There's struggles I'm going through lately
Breaks me down, set me free
Let me be, let me be
Who else do we have to rely on
Whose shoulder can a thug go cry on
Came to get my vibe on
While you look into my eyes
Won't underestimate this soldier story
Imma tell you right now Imma stand up
Wrong if I let my lead bust
Pac said keep your head up
Don't let this world get the best of you
All my struggles, I'm through
If it's over, over, over
Don't breakdown yet it's over

[Chorus]

[Chorus]

Cry, cry (Break break down)
Cry, cry (Steady breaking me on down)
Cry, cry (Break break down)
Cry, cry (Steady breaking me on down)

I Stay In Love

I've always been a fan of MC. I think she rocks and I'm pretty sure a lot of people say this but I really mean it when I say I relate to the lyrics.

This song in particular from her recent album really reaches out to me. I'm in denial about a relationship I'm in. Not that it's that much of a relationship anymore. We were together for 7 years, May this year would have marked the 8th year but we ended it last year, anyhoo we're still very much in contact and we're friends.

He was my best friend, my confidante and the love of my life. And you never throw away something like that easily.

Only my really close friends know about him because others think that this isn't real and that long distance relationships over continents with only technology to keep us together will never work. In fact only a handful of people even know about his existence and what he means to me because it's just too much to explain.

He recently came over for a visit and I had a wonderful three days with him. Things were rather awkward but at the same time everything felt so natural. Our relationship has gone to the level where we can just sit in the same room and we can be doing our own thing or just staring off into space and it feels natural. We don't need to speak to convey anything (which sometimes gets rather creepy)

I would love to try and keep this relationship going. Unfortunately the years and distance has taken a toll on the both of us and we know this is the best thing to do. We're both reluctant to move over and living 14hrs apart is not easy.

I don't know about him but I know I really am still hanging on, hoping that it will one day happen again for the both of us.

I've lived 8 years of my life with him in it.... I really can't imagine my life without my best friend, my confidante and the love of my life.... I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without my Andy.

But deep down, I know that it's never going to happen and it really sucks....

I've been crying since I left him at the airport gates.

He hugged me, kissed me on the forehead and tears just flowed. Then I pushed him away, looked down so that he wouldn't see my tears and said "Just go..." but my voice gave me away. I was quivering.

He didn't let go of me but tilted my chin up and I saw him smiling at me and then he asked "Are you crying?" Then he held me in his arms again and kissed me on the forehead. Then I looked up at him and he said "You were worth the wait," and then he kissed me on the lips and bear hugged me again.

Tears flowed like an open faucet. I couldn't take it. I pushed him away, wiped the tears away and looked at him and said "Just go... please...." and I walked away. I couldn't watch him go past the gates. I couldn't turn back to look at him because I know if I did, I would run after him and ask him not to leave me. I would cry. I would make a huge scene.

I had just said my final good bye to the love of my life. I know I'll probably never see him in real life again.

If holding on is hard, letting go is even harder. But I will always love him.... and nothing will ever change that.

the babygirl and Mr Weldon
August 11, 2008 @ KLIA, Malaysia


Mariah Carey - I Stay In Love
I Stay In Love
Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make up break up can't take this madness
We don't even really know why all I know is baby I
Try and try so hard to keep our love alive
If you don't' know me at this point then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me that unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds I know

We said let it go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like 'Oh well' each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now, no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep it hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall how
we gon' act like what we had
Ain't nothing at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block proud in the SU
We both know our heart is breakin'
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone, although I know

We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you

We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you

We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you

ranting about work...

I am so stressed with work nowadays that I really am not sure how I should deal with it. For the last 2 weeks, I have had 3 event projects on my hand which I'm running in collaboration with different Heads of Units in my office.

(quick flashback, I'm with the Resource Centre - meaning I'm very resourceful. HAHAHA. Anyhoo I do all the writing for the company - programme books, fact sheets, news releases, briefs, memorandums, circulars, flyers, banners, brochures, you get the gist)

And I think I'm up to a point where work is on my mind 24/7. There are countless days where I go to sleep thinking of work and I dream of work and then I wake up thinking of work. And the sad part is, I don't like my job that much. And frankly, I don't like the people I work with very much either (of course there are a few exceptions to that).

I have nicknames for people at work.
1) Humpee (cuz she brings her boyfriend everywhere and he's like some blood scum sucking rodent and tries to hump her every chance he gets.... yes even when I'm in the room)
2) Zoidberg (cuz she reminds me a tad of Professor Zoidberg from Futurama and also she's rather queer)
3) Screamer (well, that's rather self explanatory. She screams a lot in the office and she's rather emotional AND sensitive, so she takes quite a bit of things into offense.)
4) Mr Bean (cuz he's effing short sighted and won't bloody wear his glasses and squints like his life depends on it when he reads documents)
5) Intel Aunty (cuz she used to work with that company and with all the experience she's told me about, she's really dim. One time, she wanted to borrow my pen drive to extract a file into her pen drive and after 5 mins, she calls over "Claire, my notebook won't detect your pen drive... can you come and help?" as I walked over, I saw my pen drive.... sitting in front of the USB port... not in it, mind you. IN. FRONT. OF. IT yeah a decade at Intel my ass....)
6) Crazy Indecisive Dude (another self explanatory name. He can NEVER decide. Well he can, but he'll decide something else later. And then go back to point A.... and jump to point D and then to point C and then say okay it's final. But the next morning he'll say "Why'd you go to Point C in the first place??? Point A was fine!!!)

Work stresses me out, so whenever there's a chance to go party and chill out, I say yes in a heartbeat. Unless if I'm too tired.

Unfortunately what happened the other night was that I partied till about 5am and I got home. Didn't get enough sleep. Had to go into the office to help set up the new computer labs and it was uber dusty and stuffy. Didn't feel good but didn't really bother.

Then on Sunday I felt really icky but didn't really bother about it either.

Then Monday came... dum dum dummmm. I had a sore throat, body aches, running nose and a fever. Didn't really bother either and went straight to work because I had an event going on. Had to report for duty. By the last 2 hours of the day, the fever had really kicked in.

On my way home from work, I went to the doctor's clinic. Turns out I was having viral fever, burning up at 38C/100F with the whole works. Doc told me "Take two days off... and REST! If it doesn't get any better, come back and I'll give you another day off,"

Turns out, my office has NO idea what medical leave is. Everyone called an hour apart from 9am all the way to 4pm for 2 whole days. I couldn't rest at all.... I took my meds, and phone call came in one after another. By the 2nd day I couldn't take it. Called up my doc and asked for one more day. She gave it to me.

And today is Sunday. My final event is tomorrow and the morons in my office... are calling me non stop. It's not even MY event to begin with. I'm only helping with the printing and promotional materials. Dammit some people need to learn to DO THINGS ON THEIR OWN!

jumping jiminy!

No it's not about a cricket. In case you haven't noticed already, I have this thing about taking pictures of insects. I find that it gives me some sort of satisfaction especially after I've captured a great clear shot of it because let me tell you, it ain't easy trying to shoot insects.

Today I went to the back garden to look at my herbs. The weather is too warm, my rosemary was drying up. So I picked it up and was about to to put it somewhere shadier, then I noticed something wriggling and jumping up and down at the side. I looked over. It was a centipede. It kept wriggling and jumping up and down, at one point I got a little scared that it might jump at me and go "Haiyah!!!" with a smashing sidekick in my face.

After a little struggle (god knows what it was struggling about) it settled in a little crevice and stayed there. So I took a picture of it. I tried to take an aerial shot of it then all of a sudden it JUMPED right up... I freaked, I screamed and I ran into the house.

Anyways I did a tad of research on the centipede and this is what I'm guessing the one I found is

Scolopendromorpha

Scolopendromorpha
Scientific classification
Kingdom: Animalia Phylum: Arthropoda Subphylum: Myriapoda Class: Chilopoda Subclass: Epimorpha Order: Scolopendromorpha
Families
Cryptopidae Scolopendridae Scolopocryptopidae

The more primitive of the Epimorpha, the Scolopendromorpha comprise 21 or more segments with the same number of paired legs. Their antennae have 17 or more segments. Their eyes will have at least 4 facets on each side.

(got this from here)

If you look closely and count, the little fella does have 21 segments. I didn't bother counting the antennae and well I got a shot from it's rear end so we won't know if its eyes have at least 4 facets on each side. But hey it's cool isn't it?


I do get a bit of the creepy crawlies though when I stare at the picture for too long. It feels like it's gonna jump up at me anytime and go "Haiyah! Take that you silly person!"

Area 01 - Freeze Da Music @ Cameron Highlands

My big bro's co-organizing this cool music event up in Cameron Highlands... it is going to be a blast and soooo rock your world.  Take my word for it

Date : August 9, 2008 (Saturday)

Time : 9.00om (+0.800GST) till you drop

Venue : Sunlight House, Brinchang Cameron Highlands

Get more info from my facebook events here

i love rainy nights

It's been raining quite a bit these days at nights and it makes sleeping such a wonderful experience. Snuggling under my blankie and on my oh-so-IKEA fluffy pillows, feeling warm as toast and with the sounds of raindrops pitter pattering on the roof above me.... I almost never want to wake up. Except for this morning, but mainly because I dreamt that I was battling zombies and my mom tried to feed me pasta as I was running away............

Anyways... as I was saying.... rainy nights turn into misty mornings and with my office near the mountain range, I am greeted by a curtain of heavy mist the moment I get on the highway. One day, it was SO misty... I thought my office building had vanished........

This is almost 2 miles from the exit and my office building is usually visible come rain or shine


This is like half a mile away and just a TEENSY WEENY bit of the ground floor of my office building was visible....

*sigh* and I thought the rain had come and washed my office building away......

Well one can only hope and wish that some dreams will come true hahaha

choco chip cookies!

I love cookies. I love them even more if they're chocolate chip. I love them EVEN more than even more when it's got loadsa choco chips on them. So what does the babygirl do? She makes her own choco chip cookies.

Of course creativity carries the babygirl away now and then.... Yes I know it looks like little hamster/guineapig/rabbit droppings and I swear that those are Hershey's SemiSweets but it wasn't that all easy to knead and shape cookie dough with choco chips in them.... not too bad for my first attempt, eh?

My next cookie project will be another superhero logo thingamajigga... haven't really decided which one yet....

my osmanthus

I was named after this plant... well technically my grandfather gave me my name after counting the strokes in the characters because apparently a girl born should have a certain number of strokes in her name (I have no idea how many strokes there are). Anyhoo part of my name has this character in it... which by the way is also the name of this flower - osmanthus

One day I passed by a tea shop in the mall. I think it's an Asian thing to like drinking tea... it's like we're brought up with it or something. Anyways I saw these little yellow, pink, blue and green decorated jars and somehow I HAD to go up to the jars to take a closer look.
Lo and behold... the yellow jar had my name written on it (okay, okay, part of my name) so being the dinkus I am... I got totally excited and had to buy that jar of tea.

It's pretty nice tea by the way... smells sweet but doesn't taste sweet... it's kind of like jasmine tea but with a different type of fragrance/smell.

Then it hit me... let's wiki it! And I found out that it's a flower native to warmer countries like Asia and that it can be a little shrub up to a tree about 6ft or so in height. The flowers are produced in spring, summer and or autumn and the flowers are really teeny... about a third of an inch and has only four petals. Really cute looking flowers.

Then one time, I was with mum at the nursery looking at plants for the garden... there hiding in a little corner... voila - an osmanthus plant


Naturally I bought it. *duh*

Now every morning before I go to work... I stop by my little plant and take a sniff because it smells so darn good :)

And now it's trying to give a little bit of attitude... and growing leaves from out of its little flower.

Yeah, this was actually the whole point of writing this blog down.... HAHAHA gotcha!

Pentax Asahi ME

Found me dad's old SLR. I remember mum telling me that there's sommat wrong with it but she wasn't too sure (she's not too much a technical/camera person anyways) but I do know that she refuses to send it to a shop to get it repaired because the last time she did that, the guy told her that he'll have to keep it over night and well, she just couldn't part with it.

Also the paranoia of the guy ripping my dad's SLR apart and selling its parts away bit by bit kicked in. Pa-pa had paid over a thousand bucks for this little baby and not to mention 35mm and 50mm lens (no idea how much the lenses cost) for this as well as an electronic flash which cost 80bucks well over 25 years ago.


Anyhoo, I did a tad of research on it and turns out the camera IS older than me. The Pentax Asahi ME was circa 1976 - 1980 (that makes it approximately 6 years older than me at most) and was the first of it's kind to to have features like camera control of the shutter speed, stop exposure compensation, sophisticated aperture priority metering system and also a 1/100 sync speed. (Read more about it here.)

An amateur level camera for photography enthusiasts, this little baby boasts of being one of the most well received single-lens reflex cameras of it's time, that it influenced the design of 35 mm SLRs worldwide for years to come.

This spurred the creation of the ME F and the ME Super which then took over the ME bringing the level of SLRs to the next level.

Maker: Pentax

Dates: 1977-1979

Variants: chrome, black, SE

Camera Type: 35mm SLR

Focusing: manual

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Lens mount: Pentax K

Shutter: focal plane Seiko MFC-E
metal curtains, vertical travel
from 8s to 1/1000

Exposure meter: TTL, open aperture,
center weighted

Exposure modes: aperture priority

ASA/ISO range: 12 to 1600

Finder screen: fixed

Shoe: fixed hot shoe

X sync speed: 1/100

TTL Flash: no

Motor drive: external winder ME I (1.5i/s) or ME II (2i/s)

Battery: 2 x 1.5V

Weight: 460g w/o lens

Number produced: unknown

The above information was taken from here

I can't wait to buy some film and do a little shooting this weekend!!!

sending and receiving

You know what I love... getting stuff in the mail. Seriously. I love it. Even if it's just a bill or a notification or whatever it is. I just love it.

But at times I'm the worst penpal ever. I have this penpal that I've been writing to since I was around 13... she's from Canada and we used to send each other so much stuff. Leaves, rocks, flags, photos of everything (even the stuff in our drains or on the front porch to our fishes in a tank) which was a lot of fun.

Then she went off to college... and so did I... and bit by bit... our letters started to slow down.... becoming less than once a month... then once every 2-3 months... to about 2-3 letters per year.

Another penpal I had was this guy... whom I met through The Star newspaper. They used to have this penpal thingie going on when I was in elementary school so I wrote in saying that I'd like to have penpals and voila.... it was like a mini matchmaking service. A huge load of people wrote in. This guy - Alvin, is the only guy that I've kept in touch with since then.

We've stopped writing for quite a bit after high school and moved towards e-mails. Then bit by bit we stopped writing. We keep in contact by phone quite a bit though.

It's funny, come to think of it. I only know these two people through their writing and thoughts but yet I feel so close to them... that I can tell them anything I want to and not worry about their judgement and yet trust them to be completely honest with me no matter what.

I miss writing. I just wrote a four-page letter to Mann today... it was fun... I hope to do it more often....

Actually the initial idea for this posting was an entry I wrote in for www.futureme.org but then somehow I got sidestracked and started writing about letters instead....

Sybil Kathigasu

I went to watch the play - sybil by The Actor's Studio. The story of this wonderful brave woman had always inspired me to stand for what I believe in. I had looked forward to it the entire few weeks and thought "Finally! Someone with some sense to come up with a good idea for a play!"

If you have read or heard about her, you would understand that for a person, let alone a woman at that time and age to go through what she went through, required a tremendous amount of strength, faith and perseverance. I find it rather unfair in a way, that doing what she had done and being the ONLY Malayan woman ever to be awarded the George Medal by King George VI, her name never came up in our history books.

Below is an article I found on the net when I typed in "Sybil Kathigasu" taken from here. This little sypnosis would help you understand who she is and what she did for the country.

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Sybil Kathigasu – new stories, same legend

James Wong Wing On | Jun 30, 06 4:15pm

Until early 1980s, the name and legend of Sybil Kathigasu was very well-known in Malaysia, especially in the Ipoh-centered Kinta Valley. The Christian Eurasian woman (pix) - who was very un-apologetically pro-colonial and spoke Cantonese - was particularly remembered by older generations of Chinese residents of Ipoh and its satellite township Papan as one simple, kind-hearted and extraordinarily brave soul who saved many lives and inspired those in despair during the 44-month Japanese occupation from December 1941 to August 1945. To those who are younger, her legend is preserved in her wartime memoirs No Dram of Mercy first published in 1954. According to the legend, the simple housewife of Dr AC Kathigasu, who operated a clinic at No.141 at Brewster Road in Ipoh, secretly helped to supply medicines and medical services to the anti-Japanese guerrilla forces in Papan where she and her family lived as war refugees. She also helped them to illegally keep shortwave radio sets and listen to broadcasts from Britain and the outside world. Because of those ‘subversive’ activities she and her husband were arrested, tortured and detained until the war ended.

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The cast was great. Suki was fantastic as Sybil and Doppu did a great job as Sergeant Yoshimura. The setting was drearily real and the short noir film at the beginning was very cool.

Unfortunately, I felt that the play did not manage to portray her kindheartedness or her brave soul or what she actually did to help the anti-Japanese. I felt that the play did not do any justification to all she has done for the country except that she was very resilient and stood true to what she believed in.

I felt that the story should have evolved more around what the Kathigasu's actually did for the country/aiding the anti-Japanese to show the audience what they did, how dangerous it was, how did they manage to outsmart the Japanese at that time, and all the hardships they had to go through, doing their little bit for the country.

I have read the book "No Dram of Mercy" and I have read numerous articles about this brave woman and even visited the clinic in Papan. I know the story of Sybil Kathigasu. But because of that, certain parts of the story, got me rather confused.

For starters, it seemed rather weird that Sergeant Yoshimura could speak English well enough for his assistant and Sybil to understand but got me, mum and several others opening and closing our mouths like fish out of water because we had no idea what on earth he said (very thick Japanese accent, yes but after all this is a play).

Then the part where her daughter Dawn was tortured, only god knows what happened (if you didn't read the sypnosis in the programme book or have any knowledge of the story at all). The Japanese had caught Dawn and decided to hang her from a tree above open fire and burn her to break Sybil down and make her talk. Sad thing is, all we knew of "Dawn" was a child's voice which screamed "No!!!!" followed by a lot of protesting and screaming followed by what was supposed to be frantic screams and some purring machinery sound (the whole thing was acted out behind a huge wall with a bright red light glowing in the background as the actual scene would not have been appropriate for public viewing I guess)

Thing is, that part was significant. It showed her as a woman and as a mother and as a loyal subject of the country would not even break down EVEN though her daughter's life was at stake. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out too well.

It sounded more like the Japanese were trying to chuck her daughter into a paper shredder and I can't even start to explain what on earth the red light was. The least they could have done was to make it a flickering light. I'm pretty sure the art director would know how to do it, it's not that hard you know.

Anyhoo, I really felt that it was a fantastic story about bravery, love and loyalty to a country. But it just didn't translate too well into a play.

I must say I am disappointed. I paid 40 bucks hoping to watch a heart moving and inspiring play. Instead, I spent over an hour watching a Japanese man kick, torture, hurl verbal abuse and attempt to kill a woman during the WWII.

I guess this is what they mean by - if you have read the book, don't watch the movie or the play in this case.