Tuesday, March 3, 2009

biadap, tetap biadap

I came across this blog entry by Anas Zubedy and I can't help but agree with him. He has a point. Pissed as we all are about the decisions being made about the political scene and no matter how much we disagree with Tuanku's decision... were we ever brought up to be biadap like that? It is seriously not our culture to be that rude, crude and disrespectful.

Attached below is his full blog.
Article sourced from here.


Brothers and Sisters,

I wrote this after reading the comments to my previous article “ Anwar’s second major blunder”.

One, Personally, I detest and am ‘jijik’ with frogging so I do not agree with any government that is formed by that act, regardless whether it is BN or PR. But both parties seem too happy to practice it, and I agree with Dr Koh that Anwar is the ‘King of Frogs’. But for BN leaders like Najib to make him their teacher, elevating him to be a role model, I think it is not very smart either. However, until we have a law that suggests otherwise, I will accept the legality of the Perak new state government. (Hail Karpal !!!)

Two, I do not have privileged information about what had transpired between the Perak Sultan, BN and PR leaders. I am willing to give the Sultan the benefit of the doubt here and assume that he made the best decision he thought possible. He knows the law better than me.All these quotes about he not being true to his own writings are really shallow arguments because all laws and decisions will need to bear the context within which they are made. Historically, he has made decisions that benefited PR too, so, I perceive that he is fair.

Three, I want the state assembly to be dissolved, though I think it is a waste of money, time and purpose because neither BN nor PR are ethical governments when it comes to frogging. So it does not matter to me if BN or PR leads, just deal with the economy, that’s the issue.Read my lips, IT’S THE ECONOMY STUPID! Stop all your nonsense, I can wait for PRU13! Will all you politicians please shut up,focus all your energies and just go get the economy right.Whether PR or BN rules Perak or Malaysia is useless if a large section of Malaysians have not enough food to eat, no job to go to and remain in poverty. IT’S THE ECONOMY STUPID! Rice is more important than rights when all hell breaks loose in our economy.

Four, what I argued in the article is not what I want or like or whatsoever, ; I am playing the role of a sociologist. It is a socio-cultural reading of the Malays. I could be right, I could be wrong. But, note that it is a thematic problem; it will create impact in the longer run.

When the dusts settle, Malaysians especially the Malays (young and old) will have to decide what the core of Malaysian culture and society is. Where this society we call Malaysia was sired from?

At the end of the day, I bet it would be the Malay entity and culture, with the other sub-cultures acting as supporting actors/actresses and extras.At the very top, who are the keepers of the Malay culture? The Raja-raja Melayu.

Has the Perak royal family acted so wrongly and so zalim to be accorded such rude behaviour both by his subjects and those outside Perak? My answer is a BIG ‘No’. Do you think all the other Raja-raja Melayu are not affected and hurt too with the situation? If they are zalim, go ahead. Are they really zalim here? How do you think their working relationship be with future Pakatan's MBs?

In the area of culture, legal arguments take second place.

Take the Sultan to court if you must, but dont pelt him,be rude to him, show him the finger, screaming and shouting. Is that our culture? Is that how we want our children to behave towards us when they disagree with our desicions?

You decide.

Biadap, tetap biadap.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

28 Feb 2009 - Part II

So it's not anything huge today. I'm not planning to do anything out of the ordinary anyways. I mean, it's a birthday, it's a celebration by itself knowing that so many people love and care about me. Besides, I was never a huge fan of huge celebrations for myself :P

Anyhoo... I had a great brekkie with mom. Went for a bit of a pampering - a manicure and pedicure session (plus a great goss sesh with the girls there). Walked around the shops but unfortunately didn't buy anything.

I'm going for evening mass later and dinner with mom. With probably a drink or two with the gang - aaannnnd hopefully to see my puppy for a bit...

Oh and also, I just realized that according to the Chinese calendar, it's my Chinese birthday tomorrow! Cool eh?

28 Feb 2009

Today is a triple-y special day for me

One
It's my birthday

Two
It's five months for me and the pup

Three
My cousin Brian is getting married today!!!

Friday, February 27, 2009

My birthday wishlist

Now I am a very difficult person to get a gift for. Because there's nothing really in particular that I like... but anyhoo, I love gifts. So anything would do...

I'm bored at work and decided to write this down.

Colin asked me again last night "Baby.... what do you want for your birthday," and again I told him "I don't know,"

In the end I told him "Surprise me..."

I don't want to be mean but I say that because what I want, he cannot get me because it's too expensive or it's just not possible.

As long as he takes the effort to get me something... I don't really care.

I mean, you know me... I'm not the materialistic kind. I don't demand for stuff.

So anyways, this is my wishlist...

. Mazda Miata 2nd Generation Roadster
. A 4D3N South East Asian holiday
. Visit Bern
. Visit Mann
. Visit Megu
. iPod Touch 32GB
. Accessories and knick knacks for Poppy (my Panasonic LX3 camera)
. Less fat
. Kaneshiro Takeshi
. Richard Gere
. Marry Superman
. Clear my cc bill
. Lionhead hotot bunny (actually I'd really really love this but I don't have the time to take care of a pet in KL so I don't want it but I couldn't help it, had to write it down hahaha)
. Shopping gift vouchers (min 300MYR) from either one - MNG, Zara, La Senza, Forever 21, Vincci, FOS,
. New notebook (either a HP Pavilion, IBM Thinkpad or a MacBook)
. New cellphone (the canggih kind like maybe an Xperia1 or a HTC diamond or a blackberry or one of them cool nokias/SE cells)
. Fisher & Paykel/Electrolux Fridge
. Jamie Oliver books (hardcover)
. Dresses - for every day wear
. Boots - plain black or tan, leather (NO suede), pointy toes and at least 2.5" heels

Am I asking for too much? :P

Thursday, February 26, 2009

live bullets

I read this in the papers on Monday about the whole political thing in Perak and how the UMNO youths are really p.o-ed with Karpal for mentioning that he wants to sue the Sultan of Perak yadda3x

Apparently Karpal Singh received a handwritten warning letter in his mail box which was posted from Ipoh on Feb 12, 2009 with two live bullets in it saying "Cilaka, babi, anjing. Jgn main2 dengan Raja Melayu kalu tak syg anak bini jgn cr pasal nanti lu satu family gua bakar!!! Lu punya rumah semua gua tau!! Lu cabar Melayu mati lu satu Family!"
The note is uber laugh out loud if you ask me.

Firstly - WTF kinda letter is that? Dude... he's a lawyer... and a damn good one so do you think sending a letter like that would work? Plus, if you want to intimidate a damned good lawyer... write a better note. This clearly shows the lack of education and maturity of thoughts...


Secondly - How the hell did two live bullets in an envelope manage to be sent? And where'd they get two live bullets in the first place?

Thirdly - People should just take things more lightly... geez what's with everyone being so bloody uptight?

Anyhoo... read this today that's why I'm blogging about it...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

100

It's my hundredth post! Wow time flies...

I actually have nothing much to say... except that this is my 100th post!

Whoopee!!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

why do i...?

I ask my self this question quite a bit sometimes. Why do I love him? I'll honestly tell you, "I don't know," and that sometimes scares me - when something happens and you can't explain why.
Justify Full
At most times it doesn't scare me if I don't think about it. I spiral into emotions and let things to as they flow.

Today, he gave me yet another gesture which reminded why do I love him...

... because he takes the trouble to do simple things just to put a smile on my face when I come home every day... <3

fyi - that's Fluffy and Dudley (his puppy) reading a Beano Annual issue on the bed.

Monday, February 16, 2009

my inner demons

I woke up 3am this morning cuz of the first dream... it was rather annoying because I woke up three times before my alarm rang and all because of bad dreams...

The first one was rather silly... just that I dreamt that some weird ass looking dude had broken into the house despite me trying to fend him off... and Colin couldn't do much either... it was scary cuz the weird ass dude looked like a cross between that thing from 300 and Gollum and had brute strength... and it was one of those dreams where no matter how hard I hit, there's no strength... you know like the whole trying to run but can't run in a dream? I woke up shortly after being startled out of my life in that dream... glanced at my watch... dammit it was only 0300hrs...

Then I went back to sleep... and it was like a continuation of that earlier dream... Colin and I were on our bed discussing about what happened and I was telling him how freaked and unsafe I feel now... and that I'm glad he's here with me... then he decided to do some disappearing trick... literally one minute I saw him, the other minute I didn't. Apparently he says he can use it for some defense kinda thing... like disappear and sneak up on the intruder and I don't know punch him or something... but seeing him disappear like that freaked me out even more and I ended up crying... then I woke up... it was 0500hrs...

Went back to sleep for the umpteenth time... then this time, he was back in college for classes... and he asked me to wait in the car for a bit cuz he has to go pick something up. Then one car wanted to move and I was in the way, so I got in the driver's seat and drove further up... then I realized there's an empty parking spot... so I parked... and got down. I saw Mary Ann there so we went yum cha for a bit since I'm waiting for Colin... waited waited waited... didn't show up...

Then after a bit I saw him... with another college friend... and they were walking to where he left the car. So I ran up to him to tell him that I've parked and that we're having drinks... so he and his friends came to join us... and there was this girl who tagged along. Fair, long haired, typical chinese girl with the whole cute-sy look... then she sat between him and his friend... she was pissing me off cuz she was flirting and playing the damsel in distress card on Colin. Then the waiter came to take our drinks order... and Colin ordered... and asked her what she wants... and she's like "Oh I don't know, I can't seem to decide," with the damn pouty lips and the helpless look... so Colin ordered for her... and then he BLOODY PLACED HIS ARM ON THE BACK OF HER CHAIR AND GAVE HER A PECK ON THE CHEEK!

Bloody heck I was so pissed and infuriated... and apparently everyone else at the table knew that something was going on and kept quiet... and he looked at me with the "What's up babe?" look... I poured my entire drink all over him and stormed off... and he didn't even bother to chase after me or call me back...

I woke up at 0700hrs with tears on my pillow....

My inner demon (insecurity) is really showing up now in my dreams... I need to do something about it

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day

So how was yours?

I'm not entirely a Valentine's Day kind of person, mainly because it's too commercialized. Don't you think it's ludicrous to charge that much for a bouquet of roses or a present or a dinner? It sucks to be a guy. I even told my puppy that.

To tell you the truth, I didn't encourage him to do anything special for Valentine's Day because of the whole commercialism thing. Can you imagine receiving the same mass produced bouquet of red roses everyone else is getting? Can you imagine receiving a huge plush teddy with I LOVE YOUs blatantly splashed all over it? Can you imagine getting all dressed up for a romantic dinner only to realize that the restaurant is packed with other couples and despite your reservation you have to wait "because it's Valentine's Day," ?

Mine was beyond my expectations. Fair to say I was disappointed.

Our first Valentine's Day together and the day just passed - just like that.

At the end of the day, I'm still a girl. A small surprise to show that you remember and you care enough to do something for me on Valentine's Day would suffice.

Monday, February 9, 2009

black

To mourn the death of democracy in Perak, we're calling out to all Perakeans to mourn together by wearing all black on Tuesday, 10 Feb 2009.

I'll be dressed fully in black from top to toe...

p/s : for those who have no idea what's going on... go check out the local dailies about the Perak state government news

Saturday, February 7, 2009

pikabu

My puppy is the cutest. Usually when he picks me up from work, he'll call me and say "Hi, I'm here," or "Hi, I'm downstairs,"

For the past few days, he's been letting Pikabu call me... so so cute! And everytime Pikabu goes "Hawwooo? Colin is downstairs..." and he sound so adorable...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

revelation

"Men can be difficult at times, but I happen to like
boys
"
Singer Kelly Clarkson who revealed she could never be a
lesbian
Something I can totally relate to. Men can be bloody difficult, confusing and weird at times and most of the time they're just plain mind boggling. But dammit, I can't even imagine kissing another girl let alone entering a relationship with another woman.
And that is why I, too, could never be a lesbian.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

"Madonna"

Had my first company CNY dinner with some co-workers from the same floor. The usual chinese dinner. My manager called the restaurant up to reserve a table for us... and instead of using her own name, she decided to go all out - for the fun of it. This is how the convo went :

Lady : Hello?
Manager : Hello, is this New Paris Restaurant?
Lady : Yes...
Manager : I'd like to reserve a table for dinner tonight
Lady : Okay... what time and how many?
Manager : 7pm and for 10 pax
Lady : Okay.... your name...?
Manager : Madonna
Lady : Ma- what?
Manager : Madonna
Lady : (sounds a tad stunned) how to spell???
Manager : M-a-d-o-n-a
Lady : Umm okay... see you at 7

So when we got to the restaurant... this is what we saw on the reservation board...

hahaha priceless!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

dorset cereals

Have been trying to eat health(ier) these days and since I can't eat much the moment I wake up especially if it's early in the morning... and it takes me forever to finish munching on my cereal... I decided to take them to work...

yummmm.... there's like SO many types of berries and cherries in it.... it's heavenly....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

today

Today is four months that we've officially been together...

Today is four months that he first told me "I love you,"

Today is four months that I have accepted him into my life

Today is four months that we haven't had any arguments

Today is four months that I have lived my life with him

Today is four months that I have loved him and will continue to do so

Today is a good sign :)

Today I wish for many more similar milestones in our relationship for many many years to come.

Monday, January 26, 2009

i miss you....

It's been 72hrs since I've seen your face or felt your arms around me...

It's been 72hrs since I've smelt your lingering scent next to me...

It's been too bloody long!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

This is my new fav song. Can't stop listening to it. I somehow always find it fascinating on how much simplicity in lyrics can mean so much and how music can make you feel emotions and thoughts and replay memories.



青山テルマ ft SoulJa - そばにいるね
※あなたのこと 私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと I'm by your side baby いつでも
So. どんなに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど 寂しいんだよ
So baby please ただ hurry back home

△Baby boy あたしはここにいるよ どこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you だからこそ 心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ

[SoulJa]
んなことよりお前の方は元気か? ちゃんと飯食ってるか?
ちくしょう、やっぱ言えねぇや
また今度送るよ 俺からのLetter

[青山テルマ]
過ぎ去った時は戻せないけれど 近くにいてくれた君が恋しいの
だけど あなたとの距離が遠くなる程に 忙しくみせていた
あたし逃げてたの
だけど 目を閉じる時 眠ろうとする時 逃げきれないよ あなたの事
思い出しては 一人泣いてたの

(※くり返し)
(△くり返し)

[SoulJa]
不器用な俺 遠くにいる君
伝えたい気持ちそのまま言えずに 君は行っちまった
今じゃ残された君はアルバムの中

[青山テルマ]
アルバムの中 納めた思い出の
日々より 何げない一時が 今じゃ恋しいの
And now あなたからの電話待ち続けていた
携帯にぎりしめながら眠りについた
あたしは どこも行かないよ ここにいるけれど
見つめ合いたいあなたのその瞳
ねぇわかるでしょ? あたし待ってるよ

(△くり返し)

[SoulJa]
俺はどこも行かないよ ここにいるけれど 探し続けるあなたの顔
Your 笑顔 今でも触れそうだって思いながら手を伸ばせば 君は

(※くり返し×2)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

i'm home

I'm finally back home in Ipoh for the CNY hols.

Traffic was a tad heavy but was flowing rather steadily throughout the journey. There was only a jam at the toll but we detoured and exited via the off roads instead.

Being home is a good feeling. My dogs were utterly glad and excited to see me. I was very happy to see mom again.

But dammit I miss you... that's what's wrong with me... I get too used to having you around that I miss you whenever we're apart :P

Oh well, it'll probably be a long five days without him... *sniff*

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Hottest State

How camest though hither
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb
With Love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls
For stony limits cannot hold love out
And what love can do that dares love attempt
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me
An excerpt from The Hottest State - page 91-92

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Letting go

This is something that I have been putting off for quite a while - partly because I didn't want to do it and partly because I hate confrontations.

I've been seeing Colin for almost four months now, and during that entire time, I never made it clear to Andy that it is really over between the both of us. Yes I know, we broke up in 07 but still, we remained in contact and we wanted to work it out especially after meeting during his trip in Aug 08 but it never happened.

So I wrote him an email. I've decided not to tell him that I'm seeing Colin because it's really got nothing to do with him. This is between Claire Yukiko Ishikawa and Andrew Weldon and bringing a third party in will just be messy and bitter not to mention unfair.

I decided to do this because I remember how frustrating and heart wrenching it was to be in the dark back then when I was trying to figure out what was going wrong with our relationship. So just because he kept me in the dark doesn't mean that I should stoop to the same level and do it back for him. Not everything is tit for tat. The world doesn't work that way. And I owe it to him.

Anyways, this is what I wrote to him. Writing this letter was not easy. It is never easy to mention bad news to someone you care about. It is never easy to confront something that you have put aside for so long.

I know I've been putting this off for way too long, and I know that it was never fair of me to ignore you and leave you in the dark, it was selfish of me to do that and I'm sorry.

It's just that I cannot think straight when it involves you, you know that. I can never be the level-headed person I am when you are involved because I cared too much for you, that it has made me very emotional.

But you were always there in my life. You were my life. My best friend, my confidante, my mentor, my rock, my love... you were my everything. The worst part was that I had begun to be dependent on you for everything because you were the most important person in my life. My world revolved around you.

At one point, I believed that no matter what happens, we will be together and I was willing to do anything to make that happen. All I wanted was for you to be happy, even if it cost me my happiness. I'd rather be miserable for the rest of my life than to see you unhappy. I wanted to fight for that belief so much that I was willing to forsake everything else.

But I'm tired now. I'm tired of fighting and holding up. I need to learn to stand on my two feet.

I cannot be in a relationship with someone whom I know it will never happen. I still love you, and will always do, but I cannot hold on to this knowing that neither one of us is really that all willing to make it happen. It's not fair to you... and it's not fair to me.

When you told me that it was better for us to let go, I hated you for it because I knew you were right. I hated the fact that you didn't want to fight for it. I hated the fact that you didn't want to hold on. I hated myself because I kept blaming myself for everything that went wrong. We said let got but I kept on hanging on... maybe because I didn't want to accept the fact that it was over... maybe because I was in denial about the whole thing...

But I knew you were right on the decision. You always are. You always knew me better than I knew myself. And I hate you for that. I've attached that conversation we had on that day and everytime I read it, it seems to make more sense and at the same time it evokes very strong emotions in me, almost as if I'm reliving the conversation.

In a way, I think us letting go helped me to shed some light. If we didn't, I would still be holding on to something that may or may not happen and constantly being frustrated about it. We've spent the last few years constantly disagreeing on every other thing. And that is not how I want you to live your life and me, mine.

As I said earlier, I don't want you to be unhappy and for the past year, nothing has been happy for either one of us. I keep demanding for your attention and time when I clearly knew you didn't have time for me and that frustrated me and made me pissy at you which then in turn made you pissy. I know you don't want me to be upset but you just didn't have the time for yourself - with all the work problems and all... let alone have time to deal with a pissy me.


It's been 7 years and if it could never happen, I don't think it will ever happen. Corny and cliche as it may sound, but I think that your trip here was probably the final chapter to closing the book.

After you left, I was an emotional heap of crap and distress. I was breaking down. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything but cry and blame myself for everything that went wrong and blame myself for all the things I regretted not doing.

Letting go of you was the hardest thing I had to do, and to have to physically let go of you and walk away from you at the airport... that took a lot out of me.

I love you. I always have and always will.

But I cannot do it again. I cannot lose you twice in a lifetime. I cannot say bye and walk away from you twice in a lifetime. It's just too much pain and frustration and heartache. I refuse to do it.

I actually keep a copy of all our conversations dating back to 2000 when we first started talking on ICQ and I read them over and over again whenever I missed you.

I still harbor the hopes that we'd end up together. That we would grow old, wrinkly and white-haired together and live in a large house by ourselves with dogs in the backyard and raspberry shrubs along the side. But deep down inside I know it will never happen.

I'm going to put myself first, I am my priority. I know it's the most selfish way, but it's the easiest way for me to move on. I'm starting anew this year and slowly putting it all behind me.

You were the best thing that happened to me and God knows what kind of a person I would be if you were never in my life. And I thank you for being there for me and shaping me into the person that I am now.

I'm sorry for this and it probably sounds harsh but I will continue to not talk to you until I'm ready to do so. I need to go cold turkey on this because the temptation and emotions, the seduction is there and that is the rut I'm trying to get out of. I need to have my own life now and not be in a virtual relationship.

I'm sorry this took so long but again, I was in denial, I have always been in denial when it comes to any decision making thing which concerns you. I kept thinking that maybe we can work this out. But now I've made my decision, which is to fully support the decision you made two years ago - to let go.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bah, humbug!

For the first time in weeks... since slightly before Christmas, I had barely had a weekend to sleep in. Was rushing around because of Christmas, weddings, engagements, hen's nights, my new job and also Megu's visit.

For the first time in days... I don't have to actually wake up when my alarm rings and instead of hitting the snooze button and wishing that I can just go back to sleep, I'm bloody wide awake at 7am on a Saturday morning...

Bah....

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Pieces of me

Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of Me
On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me

Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
When youre happy, it's a mission
And you wont stop 'til I'm there

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
Well, I hit that bottom
Crash, you're all I have

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...
I hope it never goes away... yeah

On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...
So I can breathe

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

i'm so exhausted....

This has been a rather long week for me... I started my first week of work at my new company and it's been quite alright. Workload isn't too much but I know I shouldn't take it too easy. Corp Comm is never a breeze.

Then on Friday night, I rushed to KLIA to pick up Megu and then back to Ipoh.

I've been rushing around so much... I'm so tired....

And I miss my puppy :( I don't get to see him every day... okay fine it's only been today where I saw him for 3-4hrs during Simmy and Harpreet's wedding... but that's in public with people...

I miss waking up next to him... I miss falling asleep next to him... I miss the smell of him...

I miss my puppy...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

100 days

Today is our 100th day together. Personally, I think there's too much emphasis on the magnitude of the word -hundred- don't you? It's like... a large number... but it's not that all large...

Anyhoo, I told the puppy that today is the 100th day we've been together. He smiled at me and kissed me on the forehead.

So we planned to go watch a movie... and dinner after that as a mini celebration. To set the record straight - I did not tell him to subtly hint that I want to celebrate. I told him because I was happy and in a way surprised that we made it to 100 days. It's a milestone for me!

It was simple but I had a great day. Happy100th day hun. Love you *hugs*

p/s : this is one of the most intimate/private moments shot of us and I love it. Thanks Cal!

Monday, January 5, 2009

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.

Went to BK for dinner today and we were kinda watching the stuff on telly and this made me think

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.

I think it's true. I do think that it's happier to be sometimes cheated on than not to trust. This is what I'm learning to do. I think trust is a very important thing in life - not just relationships. One of my biggest and ugliest weakness is that I can never have complete faith in anyone.

I don't know what it is, but I could never place complete trust and faith in any one in my life.

Maybe one part of me is just too skeptical about things. Maybe part of me believes too much that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. Maybe part of me has been hurt too much that I could never allow myself to be vulnerable again. Maybe I'm just weird.

I cheat. Not physically of course. But mentally I do. I lie a lot. I always try to believe that I can never lie to the ones I love. But in actual fact, everyone lies to the ones they love the most. I think it's an instinct - lying is some sort of protection.

I know lying for me, is some sort of natural defense mechanism. I'll revelate that later. Still trying to figure out why I do that. Probably an only child, fantasy world thing....

But I would much rather be cheated on sometimes than to have someone not trust me and to not be able to trust that someone.

I lie because I know it makes the other person happy. For me, nothing is more important than that. I'd much rather spend my life in misery than to watch the ones I love spend their lives in misery because of me. I would sacrifice my happiness for theirs, even if it meant that I would be miserable.

To see them smile, is my happiness - and I would give up everything just to have that happiness.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

New

New Year, New Life, New Surroundings, New Job, New Me.

That's my sentence for the year. Everything is new. I'm starting afresh. Leaving the old (well the negative bits only of course) behind.

Starting my new job tomorrow. A tad nervous. It reminds me of being at school all over again - not knowing where my table (well in this case, workstation or cubicle) will be, don't know who will be sitting near me, what I'll have to do, what is required of me, whether or not the people will be nice (well I'm sure they'll be fine but of course everyone's nice to you on your first day... it's after a bit when you see their true colors anyways), what kind of impression I'll be making, the list is endless.

Anyhoo, keep your fingers crossed for me that it'll be a great day tomorrow.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Love Bug

Heard this song on the radio a couple of times and I loved it. Little did I know, it was a cover by The Jonas Brothers, and I must say - I am impressed.

Anyhoo, it was the chorus that caught my attention. It totally describes the place I'm in right now.

I never knew... and I never thought I would fall in love again. Especially not so soon, so fast and so hard.

I guess there IS a first time for everything :) ~ love you hun~

The Jonas Brothers - Love Bug
Called you for the first time yesterday
Finally found the missing part of me
Felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say

Now I'm speechless
Over the edge I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this
Love Bug again

Hopeless
Head over heels in the moment
I never though that I'd get hit
by this love bug again

I can't get your smile out of my mind
I think about your eyes all the time
Your beautiful but you dont even try
Modesty is just so hard to find

Now I'm speechless
Over the edge I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this
Love Bug again

Hopeless
Head over heels in the moment
I never though that I'd get hit
by this love bug again

Kissed her for the first time yesterday
Everything I wished that it would be
Suddenly I forgot how to speak
Hopeless,breathless baby cant you see

Now I'm speechless
Over the edge I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this
Love Bug again

Hopeless
Head over heels in the moment
I never though that I'd get hit
by this love bug again
Love bug again

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year 2009!!!

Happy New Year everybody!!!

Normally I don't do resolutions. They're never practical anyways... anyhoo, this year I've come up with a few - since I'm starting a lot of things anew, I thought what the heck, why not have a few resolutions while I'm at it.

The ~babygirl®'s new year resolutions are
a) not to over eat
I have been over eating these last few weeks of 2008 and I really need to stop stuffing myself!
b) exercise
Make full use of the condo's swimming pool facilities. May it be half an hour or just 10 laps a day... it's still exercise.
c) less choccies
Had a eeeky dream last night that I had a massive pimple break out... I'm actually terrified!
d) curb the green-eyed monster

At the moment these are the few ones I can think of... so let's see how long this lasts!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

an epiphany

"We only see what we want to see, and believe what we want to believe - and it works.

We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth...

We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth... right in front of our faces..."
Heard this while watching Grey's Anatomy 204 - Deny, Deny, Deny today and it hit me. The verity of it.

How often do we do this to ourselves. Deny ourselves the truth because we'd much rather live in the fantasy that we want to see and believe.

I know I live in my own world. So much so, that I tend to not realize which is really the truth and which is my fantasy... so much so that I cannot see the truth most of the time, which scares me.

I was reading about my horoscope yesterday, trying to understand myself and two of my traits is where Pisceans like getting 'lost' and loves mysteries of all guises.

Maybe the fantasy world is something that comes to me naturally. But growing up with non-Pisceans, I have learnt to believe that there is an actual world outside and that there are perceptions.

There was a time where I thought a lot of things were real... but things change.... if not for the worse... the much better :)

Monday, December 22, 2008

Carleton Big Ad

I remember watching this when I was in uni... the commercial blew me away. It was SO simple... and yet it was bloody brilliant.

I had completely forgot about it until he linked it over.




I still can't get over how simple... yet entertainingly effective and honest this commercial is.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Over and Over Again

I heard this song when I was in the car with Colin the other day... I've heard the song before but never knew that Nelly had collaborated with Tim McGraw on this one. I liked the melody and the feel of the song. But when I listened to the lyrics... it pulled a string in my heart.

It reminds me of Andy and when I first realized that he had something with this other woman - Emily in Sept 06, and then later another woman - Fukuko, sometime after his birthday in 07. But I kept quiet the whole time.

Mulled in my own depression and frustration. Cried till there were no more tears.

I didn't want to make a fuss. I never want to make a fuss. I don't know why. Partly because I don't want to sound like the deranged emotional woman I can be. Partly because in a way, I believe that if he doesn't realize what he did was wrong, he's not that all worth it. I give up very easily.

That's why when I'm in a relationship, I don't kick up a fuss. I sit. Think. Mull. Then I let it go.

I remember during his birthday in 07, he told me that there’s nothing we can’t overcome. We can do it. We’ll fight the odds. We’ve done it so many years, we can continue to do it.

We called it quits in Sept 07. Actually, he called it quits on me.

Then when we decided to call it quits, I knew he had something on with her but he kept denying it every time I asked him about it. Didn't mention her name though. Fine, I thought. Maybe he wanted to tell me but he just didn't know how to break it to me. Whatever. I don't care now. I know, because I don't know how to break it to him that I've moved on and I'm in a committed relationship now.

He knows, I'm pretty sure he knows, your gut instincts are always right. I’m just denying it.

But at that time... I kept picturing him with her, over and over again and it got so bad to a point that I could barely function.

I dreamt of him few nights ago. He had come to pick me up and we were talking in the car and he held my hand and held it to his chest and assured me that everything will be fine. I woke up almost instantly and I wanted to cry.

It breaks my heart, why didn't he want to really make it work in the first place, and now that I'm moving on, he's telling me things I wanted to hear months ago... and it makes me wonder why we spent so much time arguing about so many things where we could be working on our relationship and making it work.

I hate it that when I was fighting hard to keep us alive, he took me for granted. Now that it's over and I've moved on, he wants to fight. His fight, subtle as it is, is haunting me. I hate it when my past creeps up on me and taps me on the shoulder because it makes me wonder 'what if' and I had learnt from a very young age - "There is no such thing as what if,"

I think in one way, Andy's last visit was closure for me. The last chapter of that book.

I have moved on since, and I know I'm not lying to myself when I say this.

Because everyday I wake up and he's the first person that pops into my mind. He's the only one I want to be with. He's the one I want to share a bed with. He's the one I want to spoil.

He's the one I love <3

Nelly feat Tim McGraw - Over and Over Again
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it
Nooo

I can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it's a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things

Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh

But I think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it
Nooo

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that u would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keep playing in my head

Over and over again
Playing my head
Over and over again
Ohh

I think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo

(Now that I've realizes that I'm going down
From all this pain you've put me through
Everytime I close my eyes I lock it down
I can't go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Nooo

Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it's all in my head

Sunday, December 14, 2008

well, like duh

I'm more naive than I think I am sometimes. It just hit me why he comes back to Ipoh so often. Me.

Yes I know, it goes without saying "Like duh... why else would he be back here so often???" or like what Len told me during the early days of our relationship - "I haven't seen Colin back in Ipoh as often as this. Are you sure you guys aren't dating?"

It only hit me when we went out for drinks one night and one friend (whom is his school mate) asked him "Colin, watchu doing in Ipoh?" and all he did was point at me. Then the guy asked "You're on holidays?" "Yeah, term break," "Oh... so why don't you stay in KL instead?" again... he pointed at me.

THEN it hit me... he's back here because of me. I don't know why but it never hit me earlier. I always thought he came back cuz his family is here and that he was really bored in KL and that I was around.

Anyhoo, we're going apartment hunting... cross your fingers for us!!!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Cowboy - Kid Rock

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle or any music library list (eg. WMP; Winamp and etc)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the note from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The 5 C's - Kopi Kat Klan

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
It's Not Unusual - Tom Jones

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Crumbs - Disagree

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The City - Joe Purdy

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
1234567 - F.I.R.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
How To Save A Life - The Fray

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
戀人未滿 - S.H.E

WHAT IS 2+2?
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
きらら - 工藤 静香

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Don't Mind Lay-lay Boy - Ranma 1/2

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Somewhere Over The Rainbow - The Wizard of Oz OST

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Goodies - Ciara ft Lil Jon

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE
Les Poisson - The Little Mermaid OST

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Bananaphone - Raffi

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
When I Need You - Leo Sayer

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
No Diggity - Blackstreet

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Unbelievable - EMF

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sugar Sugar - The Archies

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
A Shoulder To Cry On - Tommy Page

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
I Wish You Well - Mariah Carey

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Could've Been - Mandy Moore

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Surfer Girl - The Beach Boys

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
湯屋の朝 - Joe Hisaishi (Spirited Away OST)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Shake That Ass - Mystikal

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Grillz - Nelly ft Paul Wall

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Always Coca-Cola - Commercial Jingle

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Scent of Death - IWTV OST

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
最熟悉的陌生人 - Elva Hsiao

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Cowboy - Kid Rock

Friday, December 12, 2008

Chiam See No 13

"ANY one who gets this No 13 is like a small tree having few leaves and no fruits. When the raining season comes it begins to spread some branches and leaves. You should not remove your present residence now, or do not change your occupation, do it as you did before, otherwise you may get trouble afterwards. You will meet your relatives who left you a long time ago. Your luck for other things is good. In case of love, you have little hope at present but in future you will meet your real lover."

This Chiam See has been one of the more accurate ones I've received of late. Well, the part about relatives that is. I have recently been back in touch with a cousin whom I haven't met in over 15 years or so... maybe even close to 20 years. I have to say I am very glad that we're back in touch... and the best part is... we talk as though time never left us. Blood IS thicker than water ;)

But the present residence and occupation worries me a tad. Not too much. But it's just that I had just accepted an offer for a new job and have just quit my present job AND will be relocating to PJ so... let's just hope it all goes well....

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Great things happen to those who are unafraid to try

He didn't get nominated :(

I woke up this morning and saw an Inbox message from Voize 2008 - Nominations are out!!!

I actually jumped up and scrolled down the list excitedly. Reaching out for my cell phone, I almost called him *just in case he didn't know* but then I thought that I should at least go thru the list first before waking him up at 10am...

I went thru the list like three times... literally. Didn't see his name there. Then I realized that he had already seen the list and posted it on his FB status.

Hun I'm sorry you didn't get it. We were all pretty sure you'd get nominated... I'm upset too... I know you are disappointed despite your nonchalant exterior :P

I know this sounds negative but maybe this isn't your time yet. Maybe this isn't your big break.

Your break will come. I know it.


And no, I'm not just saying that cuz I'm dating you.

I'm saying it because I believe in your passion for music... I know that your passion will definitely lead you somewhere and it will lead you to bigger and better things *p/s : this is the girlfriend part speaking*

Great things happen to those who aren't afraid to try.... and you are one of them shining stars :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

i miss you :(

I just spent the last five days with my puppy in KL....

We didn't really do THAT much anyways.... went for Janey + Andy's wedding... did a spot of shopping... but basically we just hung out... pretty much what we do at home here (which is watch movies, snuggle up and eat) anyways... except that there are NO interruptions at all... which was pretty cool!

He just dropped me home a few hours ago and I already miss him terribly... but can you blame me? :P

We spent every hour together (I wanted to say minute but then again there here plenty of minutes such as toilet and shower times where we DID NOT spend together hahaha)

I changed my FB status from 'single' to being 'in a relationship'... because I am. I guess I didn't do it earlier maybe because I wasn't entirely sure if I should or not.

I got a glimpse of how life would be when we move in together next year... and I have to admit that I'm surprised and excited about it because it felt rather natural. At first I thought it might be a bit awkward.... but it wasn't at all.

I was completely at ease being with him at home.

I was comfortable doing my own stuff while he's doing his stuff... and I think we've reached the level in the relationship where both of us are comfortable being in the same room doing our own thing and not saying a word AND not feeling awkward at the same time.

:)

Now I'm sitting in my room... everything seems normal... yet it seems different... because the bunny is sitting alone... arrghhh I seriously do not like it when I pine for him... bleh...

Hun, in case you're reading this - YOU lah! Ishk....

p/s : Voize nomination list will be out on Dec 11, 2008... I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him!!!

Monday, December 8, 2008

lazy days

Am in KL for Jane (my old roomie from Perth)'s wedding... went to her church wedding on Saturday... and the dinner party on Sunday night...
I can't believe it... but Janey's hitched!!! I am unbelievably estatic and happy for her... and I can tell you one thing, I rarely genuinely feel things like this strongly... and when I actually do, that shows how big a deal it actually is.


I can still remember the days when I was sitting in my room working on my assignments... and then this figure walks by my room... and goes "helloooooo...." and doesn't stop.....

OR

the time where she excitedly ran into my room, grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me ALL the way to the bathroom... just to point to our toothbrushes by the sink. All because they were 'kissing'

hahahaha


Have been in KL for the past three days and I'm telling you... I am slowly morphing into
a) a sloth
b) one with the bed (think That 70s Show when Eric overeats and Fez is scared to go near Fat Eric only to find out that Kelso was buried under Fat Eric)

Well, not THAT fat... but I have been so lazy to even get out of bed.... today... it took us HOURS to actually get out of bed (and no.... not because of that!).

I woke up at about 1-ish in the afternoon.... then he woke up.... then instead of getting up... he turned on Top Gear... so we spent hours watching Top Gear... and it was only until we realized that it was already evening... *ooerr*

So we went out for food... dropped by the Digital Mall for a bit.... and then came home...

Now he's gaming... and I'm... well... blogging... hahaha

Tomorrow it's IKEA shopping day!!!! *w00t*
I need to buy
a) 2 chairs (for the dining hall)
b) extra 3-way pin adapters
c) timer (for the hall light)
d) I can't remember...
BUT I did bring my reusable IKEA bag... so... let's just hope I don't load too much stuff in there!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

FB messed up - Part II

I'm an addict. I know. I have to log in Facebook a million times a day or else it really feels weird.

Today Facebook amazed me yet again. Remember my previous post about how FB messed up?

This time, a Wall-to-Wall convo took place in the future! Check it out!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I sometimes don't know what to do with him

Again on the topic of being effing pissed. I thought I had let go. Then two random people (random as in not from my usual circle of peeps) tell me about him and that bitch. I know, it's unfair to call her a bitch because she might not know, but I don't effing care.

The randomest thing about it is that both of them, had no idea who I was dating... and I know that they are credible sources in this case.

I'm calling anyone who sleeps in the same bed as my boyfriend a bitch. I have that fucking right.

Anyhoo... random person A tells me that that bitch has a lover in PJ. He could name me the place he lived in and the car he drives - which oh so coincidentally is the same as my boyfriend *fume* then he could tell me that this lover of hers used to be her college mate and they dated for a while...

Random person B asks me about the other Malay girl. And at that time I had no idea what he was talking about and I insisted that there was only one (which is his most recent ex girlfriend) and he insisted that there were two, and one of them was his college mate.

I literally blew my top. Fortunately for him, I didn't blow my top at him. He didn't get to suffer any wrath because
a) I don't like to make a fuss in a relationship
b) By the time we got to talking, I had already had the entire day to cool down...

Had to approach this rationally. Partly because this was from his past. I have things in my past too. But I'm pretty sure I cover my tracks up well, in the sense that it won't jump up and nip him in the arse - like how his is doing to me.

His past is always coming up to nip me in the arse... so many people in the same circle... so many people telling me so many stories... don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not grateful for the information about the person he is.

But I fell in love with the person I know him as... not the person these people know him as.

I confronted him about it and I told him that it's not fair for me to hear it from others, and that I want to hear it from him. Because him and me is all that matters.

His side of the story
- she's a friend who needed help cuz she's relocated to another country
- they go all the way back to college
- nothing happened
- they used to date

That's when I blew my top at him. I still don't understand.... ex or non ex girlfriend, you NEVER bunk in the same bed with another female if you have a girlfriend! How hard is that to understand? Is that not like a common ground rule? Like "Honey, am I fat?" the automated response is "No, don't be silly," in an assuring voice.

I gave him my two cents worth.

He explained himself. I know where he's coming from. I know what he meant and what he was thinking about when he did that. If he was cheating on me, he wouldn't tell me anything at all, simple as that.

But he didn't know how it would bother me.

So from today forth... she shall be known as the bitch. I don't care how much he dislikes it. Because it's his own fault that he did not clarify it with her and he crossed a boundary.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'm wondering....

Remember I was effing pissed at him last month?

Today I'm rather pissed at him too. I was at work... wondering how wonderful it would be if I could snuggle back under the covers with him today because it was a rainy day.

Then at noon he wakes up and freaks out. His lecturer called him up and apparently he needs to make some amendments to his assignment. He freaks out. Assignment carries 40%, so I'll go back tmr afternoon, he tells me.

Then he freaks out even more because his maid had accidentally broken the water tank of the toilet.

I laughed silently to myself because sometimes he makes mountains out of molehills and well, it was a tensed day at work, it was rather funny to hear that his maid had broken the toilet.

I'm freaking out, he tells me. Chill... breathe in and breathe out. I'm at work. There's only so much I could do for him. So I told him to go shower, eat some breakfast and then figure out what he wants to do. No point doing anything now unless you're relaxed, I said.

Then he freaks out even more because the license on MS Word on his notebook has expired so he can't do the amendments to his assignment and when he came back this time, he forgot to bring the wireless card for his desktop. That translates to = cannot make amendments to assignment.

After a bit he was quiet. So I asked "Are you okay?" then he tells me that he just threw up.

*stares blankly at the screen*

Apparently that happens when he's too freaked out. Damned artists. I can't imagine being that freaked out as to be able to throw up and esp not at what he was going through. So I left him to cool down and I went out for lunch. "I'm going to eat now, talk to you later okay?"

I came back from lunch and he was offline. So I thought maybe he was trying something.

Few hours later, he was still offline. So I texted him "Hun are you okay?"

It took him 5 flipping minutes to reply me "In KL now :P "

*sigh*

I'm not asking him to report to me on every step that he takes. But at least have the decency or the courtesy to tell me that you'll be going back to KL. Is it that so hard?

Geez... that boy really has no.... goodness I can't even begin to describe - brains? decency? courtesy? common sense? Bah!

I mean it's not like driving out to somewhere with an internet connection and working MS Word... or driving out to Macca's to grab something. This is KL for crying out loud. It's bloody two hours away.

I'm PMS-ing again....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Man tries to pay bill with spider drawing

I was reading this on Monday.... and stumbled across this just now and it still cracks me up.

Hats off to David who ACTUALLY did that... and hats off to Jane for all her patience and courteousness in customer service.

Article taken from here

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Fap

Learnt a new word today - Fap

Fap (verb) [faap]
~ noise made while wanking

An example of usage is as follows :

A : Augh, suddenly my left knuckles are aching. And I didn't even fap with it. Even if I did.... I'm right handed! Augh!!!!
B : Fap?
A : Wank
A : fap fap fap fap
A : splurggurgurgurgurgurpishhhshshshhhsputsputsputsputs....drip
A : hahahahaha
B : Oh my god... HAHAHAHA

Another satisfying day at work, ladies and gentlemen ;)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Auugghhh!

I hate it when I miss him. It gets very annoying. I get very restless. It's all annoying... and I blame him :P

He spoils me so much by coming back every weekend so much that it has only been 2 weekends (not in a row, thank God) that he has not been back in the entire length of our relationship and, well, it's not unbearable... but it's just... like I've lost either one limb (yes I know it sounds exaggerated but that is the way it feels)

And recently it has become a tad worse... not that I really want to complain but it's just that he's been working on his music so much that I literally do not see him at all. He came back last weekend... and on Tuesday I was in DJ so we met up for a couple of hours (which was pretty much fun since we've never hung out anywhere else but Ipoh) and he's supposed to be back this weekend but his brother has got friends coming in from Melbourne and he'll only be able to make it back home on Wednesday or so....

He's going through a lot of tutorials and starting from scratch to build his instruments so much so that his body clock is all wonky now hahaha and I love watching him go like that... it reminds me of when I'm in the writing mood. I can write chapters and chapters on end and editing goes on non stop.

We're both perfectionists in that way. Which tends to annoy a lot of people. Especially when we become uber anal about perfection in our own work :P

I love it that he's working on his music :)
I love being the guinea pig to the endless versions of his work
I love listening to the different sounds he produces (I am actually fascinated with it, even though I was classically trained in classical music for over 10 years, digital music amazes me)
I love that my opinions on his work matters to him (I'm not that much of a techno trance electro kind of person to begin with, which is the genre he works on)

However, I do not love not being able to see him as often as I want to....

I could make a fuss... or throw a tantrum... but I won't...

Bleh. I'm just annoyed that I miss him so much...

Monday, November 10, 2008

CPtm

I'm so proud of my puppy :)

His work got featured in Channel [V] - Remote Control yesterday at 4pm (+0800GST). It was a very short bit... just a filler song for the National Day parade snippet... but hey! it's a start.

And he's submitted entries for the VIMA 2008 (Voice Independent Music Awards) and they organizers have gotten back to him on his newest single and they want to feature him as an artist on their Indie Spotlight! *jumping with glee*

I'm being overly excited for him about this whole thing....

Ooohh and we've officially passed the one month mark... I'm overly excited about this too....!

It's his birthday today... but he's got one paper for his finals on later....

*the bunny wishes lots of luck to the puppy*

Happy birthday hun... this will definitely be YOUR year ;) love you!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

i love you

Yes I finally said it.

It feels like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders.... like the suns rays poking through a cloud of mist showing me the way... I actually feel liberated.

We were hanging out in the hall as usual watching a movie. It's his birthday weekend and I had a menu planned out but unfortunately he had to eat with his grandparents, so our dinner plans got canceled.

We were lying on the couch... snuggling and talking about random stuff as usual... then I looked at him

"I love you..." I said softly. He sat up and smiled at me. I think I caught him off guard. In a way, I felt that he was waiting for me to say it back to him.
"Really?"
"Yes.... I do..."
"I love you too,"

Now I know why they call it those magic three words. Because right now I feel like the world is really all rainbows and sunshine and butterflies and flowers in bloom everywhere.

It really does feel magical to say those three words and really mean it to the person you love in his face. I've never done that before....

I'm on a high...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

FB messed up :P

I'm on FB like every other night... then when I click to log off FB chat, I realized that they had uploaded my previous status update. So I clicked on my Profile to see if it refreshes or not and look what happened....

HAHAHAHA on the top it says that I'm chocolate hot pot-ing and in my chat window, it says that I'm THE perfect denial ;)

Talk about messing up...

I can't stop laughing

Saturday, November 1, 2008

blood donation

I donate blood as often as I can... it's kinda like my own way of doing something for the society. Also, mom used to tell me that dad did it a lot when he was alive so in a way I'm probably trying to continue some sort of tradition.

I started donating at the age of 18 and I actually quite like doing it. It gives me a sense of pride or satisfaction or some sort knowing that what I do can help save someone's life.

I am squeamish about needles... but as long as I don't see where it goes, it's not as bad....

I've only had one collapse in all my years of donating. That one time, was in a mall, I saw that there was a blood donation drive and had gone over to volunteer. After I was done, I looked up and realized that there was a long queue of volunteers and being a 'seasoned' donor I told the nurse that I can just get up so that the next volunteer could start.

Two minutes after I had gotten up, spots started to blind my vision and the next thing I knew, I was back on the stretcher bed with nurses and my friend, Maggie looking at me "Are you ok? You blacked out and almost hit the ground, lucky we saw you were collapsing!"

This time, I was out with him in the mall and I saw a blood donation drive. Pretty quiet one too. So I walked over and signed up. Turns out I was their first volunteer, which really surprised me because it was about 2 in the afternoon.

Everything went well, as usual. Then when I told the nurse I wanted to get up, she held on to the bed and he extended his hand to hold my left arm (I was donating with my right) and somehow as a reflex to getting up, I used my right arm to help push me off the bed.

THEN I realized that I had used my right arm and I looked down, blood was gushing out cuz I applied pressure to it. Hahaha... he panicked a bit... the nurses panicked a bit... and all I did was stare at my blood flowing out staining my arm, top and a bit of the floor

They made me lie down again.

This time he made sure that he lifted me off the bed instead of letting me get up by myself :)


Then I had realized AFTER the entire incident that he's squeamish about needles and blood....

He's really fantastic I'm telling you... in his own little subtle ways... he's blowing my mind...